He looked at her with her fumbling half-hearted apology. He saw tears stream down her face. He felt bad, always seeing her cry so much, but at least she was able to let it out. He nearly always kept it in. Being able to let emotions out fully was something he couldn't do and he thought it was stronger than keeping it all bottled in. It was the most dishonest part about him, never being able to let people know how he really felt about things. Though most of the time it was because he didn't know himself.

He looked down, he really didn't want to say the wrong thing. He couldn't afford to this time. "I-I don't know. It feels like it would be a lie if I just said right now, 'no, I don't'. I don't know how I could know. I do care for you so much though. I just want things to be good between us again. I can't keep doing this- I can't-" his voice cracked a bit, shaking his head slightly. He just didn't want to think that everything with her was a mistake and that obliviation was an answer to his grief..

Parker looked down at her, his eyes seeming to search for something in hers. He just looked at her as she tried to explain why. As her eyes as dropped down to the floor, he had stepped closer to her, and still soaked and freezing, he wrapped his arms around her carefully, resting his chin on top of her head. Sniffing and taking a deep breath. He stayed quiet for a long time before he asked quietly. "Can we go back into the castle?"

Pyxis heart-beat picked up, and she wished he could give her an answer. She wouldn't force him to though, he'd never been very good with his emotions after all. She knew now that she wouldn't be able to move on, not now, not ever. She ran her hands through her hair and pulled at the roots, her mixed emotions clear on her face as she stared at him. "I get it, Parker. I want things to be good again too, I hate this. I missed you too much to let you go again, im not even sure why i'd want you to go. It hurts so much when you're not there." She bit her lip and forced herself to shut up.

She didn't want to sound desperate, or annoying, or send him on another guilt trip as she'd been doing lately. He seemed to be searching for something within her eyes as she spoke, and she wondered what it was. He knew how she felt.

Her body tensed when she felt his arms around her, her heart thudding loudly in her ears and making her feel warmth despite how wet and cold he was. The warming charm was fading, and she began to feel the cold again. His head rested on top of her own, and she let it fall against his chest as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around him as well. She sniffled as well, and nodded her head when he asked if they could go back to the castle. "Yeah. Im cold." She mumbled as the effect of the charm completely left her and she shivered.

He felt a terrible sinking feeling in his chest over the fact that he couldn't give any straight answer. He wished he could. But for some reason it wasn't so simple. Never as he ever saw in movies or with other relationships he saw. He figured it was just him. There must be something wrong with him. He watched her frustrated response and worried he'd just driven her away again. He let out a relieved breath hearing that she wanted things to be good again too. He sniffed again and nodded, "I know, I know, I hurts me so much too..."

He let out a short breath, closing his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him too. He felt the brisk chill once again as the warming charm faded, a shiver running through his whole body, his muscles still ached from being so cold. He felt her shiver against him and he leaned out a bit, looking down at her. "I'm really cold too. Walking into the lake in me underwear was really, really stupid of me. You don't look too dressed for freezing water either." he tried to smile a little bit, in attempts to lighten the mood.

"Let's head back yeah...you don't want Noah to wake anyone else..."

Pyxis knew that this was real life, not some fairytale dream. In her dreams, she'd told him and he'd immediately returned the words, but this wasn't how the real world worked. In movies and other things, everything had been happily ever after, but here she knew it would not be like that. Sure, maybe one day it would be but they'd have to work hard to achieve that, and it wouldn't just be given to them. "Let's try not to fight so much anymore, okay?" She smiled weakly, and it faded almost the moment it appeared.

Pyxis felt him shiver and was suddenly very eager to return to the castle. The air outside was icy, and when the wind blew it made her feel numb from how cold it was. She wondered why it had to be so cold in England, it was rather annoying at night. "Just a little bit. And I didn't expect to have to run in to stop you from whatever you were doing. What exactly were you doing?" She asked with a frown.

Pyxis pursed her lips at the mention of Noah, and she pulled away from his embrace entirely. She hesitated, and decided against holding his hand as she began to walk back up to the castle. "Yeah, i'd rather he didn't wake anyone up." She said.

He smiled weakly back at her. "Yeah that would be a good start." While the ups and downs were just a part of Pyxis and him, the level and amount sometimes could never be considered healthy for either of them.

The moment she asked him what he had been doing, he could practically feel himself recoiling. He felt even colder inside and out as a deep frown settled on his face as he looked down. His voice grew quieter "Can...can we talk about that some other time?" At least not then when freezing his butt off. He bit the inside of his cheek, feeling so ashamed that she had to come after him to see him like that. He figured his state of mind really was awful...and made a mental note to himself to get away for a few days so he could make sure he wouldn't suffer from another apparent mental breakdown once school started.

As she pulled away, Parker pulled his robe around himself more, crossing his arms and only resulting in making him shiver more. In attempts to heat himself up and just wanting to get out of the cold, he started to walk faster, slightly ahead of her.

Pyxis knew it would be difficult to keep her quick temper under control, but she really wanted too. She hated how much they fought, and it was mainly because of her. He'd say something wrong by accident and she'd fly off the handle at him. "Yeah, I'm sorry about all the fights. Im too quick to defend myself." She mumbled shamefully.

Pyxis frowned when he stiffened against her and she looked up at him with curious eyes, though she respected that he didn't want to talk about it whilst they were outside, freezing cold and going to die if they stayed out there any longer of hypothermia or something like that. "Alright, but don't' think i'll forget this Parker. You'll have to tell me eventually." She warned, though there was no teasing tone within it. She was dead serious, she'd get it out of him, and she was still worried about what he was going to do. She'd keep a close eye on him to ensure he didn't do anything stupid again.

Pyxis allowed him to speed ahead of her, her body had begin to go numb from cold. It was a strange feeling, as if she were floating through the atmosphere, there but not really there. He was quite a bit ahead of her now, but she didn't have the energy to catch up, instead continuing at her slow pace until they reached the doors to the castle. She shut them and waved her wand to lock them behind the duo, before she wrapped her arms around herself as feeling settled back in. Out of the wind, it wasn't nearly as cold though the castle was chilly. She brushed her damp hair out of her face and sighed.

"And I'm sorry I can't think before I talk..." If he just wouldn't make just careless remarks, for the most part the arguments would be prevented...If he just thought for a second, he would realize how she could take offense to what he said, and then not freak out when she got so upset.

He lowered his eyes from her when she looked at him. When she said he'd eventually have to tell her, he brought his eyes to hers, nodding very slightly with a faraway look in his eyes. He would. He'd have to, after she'd seen him. He just needed to sort it out properly in his own head. He needed to be able to explain his seemingly rash behavior. He needed to make sure it didn't happen again. He wouldn't have someone always there for him. There was something wrong with him, and it was him that needed to figure it out and fix it.

When they got inside the castle and she had locked the doors behind her, he felt considerably less cold now that there was no wind. But the stone was still so cold, and he was still damp with freezing water. A few paces away he watched her brush hair out of her face, and he kept his arms folded close to himself. He nodded his head down the corridor, and whispered, his voice shaking from his shivering."Come on, lets hurry..."

Pyxis didn't argue with him at that, they both had their faults. She knew she probably could just let the remarks slide sometimes, after all she made countless jokes about him that he ignored and laughed at, because he knew she was kidding. Sometimes, he didn't mean it the way she took it at all. "We have our faults, huh?" She stared at her hands, un-able to smile even though she would've liked too.

Pyxis couldn't help the feeling of dread within her. She was scared that he'd been trying to kill himself, or something along those lines. She couldn't imagine life knowing that she could never see him again. It had been bad enough when she didn't know where he was, but at least she'd known that he was alive and possibly well, living his life happily without her. She wasn't so sure if he was exactly living happily without her anymore.

Pyxis noticed the slight quaver in his tone due to the coldness around them, and it made her frown in concern. Slowly, she made her way over to him and pulled out her wand. She rested the wand against his skin and mumbled a spell, casting a warming charm over him. She was too tired to cast on on herself, so she nodded her head. "Alright, come on." She said softly as she began to walk along again.

Parker had taken a few steps down thew corridor already, his feet feeling numb still. He turned back to make sure she was catching up, and as she was she pulled out her wand. He stopped for a moment and she then held her wand to him. He felt himself warm up again from that spot out. He nodded a little bit. "Oh...thank you." When she didn't do it to herself, he assumed she must have already put a warming charm on herself when his back was turned.

His shivering lessened as he was warming up, and he was walking with her back to the professor's quarters in mostly silence. He didn't really have anything to say. He began to feel awkward again, ashamed of himself.

As they made their way up the stairs to the professors lounge, Parker glanced at her, his voice quiet. "I'm sorry...for all of this. Everything."

Pyxis shrugged at his thank you. She hesitated a moment, staring at her feet. "You're welcome." She mumbled, before she began to follow after him, the heat from his body radiating off him, causing her to walk close to him. She could feel awkwardness settle in the air around them, but she couldn't be bothered talking. There was nothing to say, she could only think about everything that'd just happened. Her head was spinning wildly and she could feel her face turning red.

She was embarrassed now, and she kind of wished she could take it back. She liked it better the other way, un-sure of whether or not he liked her. Now she knew that he didn't love her, and though he had said he was confused, she was a woman after all and constantly doubted herself. Had he just said that so as not to upset her?

Finally, they had reached the professor's lounge, and they moved through that to the staircase that led to the professor's bedrooms. She took the first couple of steps, before she stopped as he spoke and she looked at him. "Its not your fault. At least, now you know... why I couldn't just move on." She said softly, before making it up the rest of the way to the stairs and taking a step in the direction of her room. She paused and looked back at him. "Goodnight, Parker." She said, her heart aching painfully before she made her way back over to her room, opened the door, shut it behind her and crumbled to the floor. Her head was buried in her hands as she tried to cry quietly.

While the silence that had settled between them felt fairly awkward, the space between them didn't. He didn't mind how close she walked to him and almost wanted to put his arm around her as he might have back in sixth year, but considering all that just happened he didn't think it to be a very good thing to do.

The words were swimming in his head and he was just mulling them over now. What did that mean for them now? Would it change anything? He didn't want them to. He just wanted normal again... and he knew he didn't know how to get back to that, that it would take a long time for them to get back to what they had. He needed to sort out his own thoughts and emotions, before being able to extend them in anyway, if he could even figure out how. He had to fix himself before he could fix...them. Or what used to be them. The 'them' from sixth year where they were happy and inseparable. And the 'him' without something festering within that he couldn't place at the time.

Parker stopped the few steps below her when she stopped and he looked down when she spoke. He then looked back up and watched her go up the stairs. When she turned back to him, he asked, probably too quite for her to even hear. "Will we...still meet for lunch? I-I understand...I mean, I understand if you don't want to anymore...I just..." He sighed. Why couldn't he just get his words to come out? He frowned and nodded at her as she said goodbye and made her way to her room. He went up the stairs after her, and stood at his door as he watched her close hers. He stood at his doorway for a long while, looking towards her room before he finally looked down and walked in to his room, shutting the door and changing into dry clothes before getting back into bed, not sleeping.

Pyxis nodded her head when he asked if they'd still meet for lunch. She wished they could forget everything that'd just happened, and maybe something as normal as that would aid them in such an act. "Yeah, of course." She said quietly, before she disappeared into her bedroom.

[[OOC: Mum is kicking me off the comp, wanted to post this now!]]