Laying in his bed, he was trying to force everything he felt back into a little ball in his gut. This hurt far more then when he had just left because then there were still uncut strings. They'd been able to gain back some of the friendship they had before because things had not been finalized. All this was what he feared would happen if he had told her he would have been leaving. Everything cut off, her not wanting anything to do with him anymore. Leaving like he did allowed him to think that a part of her could still care and remember him from time to time, and he'd not feel bad for thinking and caring so much for her and everyone else. But now things were finalized. He was just too stupid, too misunderstanding, too desperate, too faulty. He had finally screwed up bad enough for her to mean what she said and not forgive him. He didn't mean to always offend her, he never wanted to. He would just say the first thing that he wondered in the most honest way and it always seemed to get people to hate him. But if he didn't tell what he thought people would hate him too and there was never anyway for him to do anything right. He just couldn't do anything right and never could as long as he held on to who he was in the past. He'd still be that stupid ignorant kid that has still hardly amounted to anything and made no impact on anyone other then to upset them. He hated it all and he hated himself.

He lept out of the bed, shaking with the sudden need to just run and get away. He stormed out of his room with his head swimming and his ears ringing, feeling like everything really was crashing down now, just as it had before. She meant everything to him. She was literally why he was still alive, she was what kept him getting out of bed to go to work, knowing she'd not want him to just waste away. Out of the castle, his socked feet got soaked with mid night dew. The air was still but cold and he walked all the way to that damned lake, where that grindylow just hadn't taken him fast enough, and where he had to have been saved. His wand gripped tight in his hand, he took steps into the freezing water, his body immediately starting to shiver. He walked in waist deep,shivering violently.

His robe and shirt clung to him and he felt the slippery moss and mud between his feet. He stopped and lowered his head, groaning from the discomfort of the chill. His arm was so cold he could hardly move it, so with his other hand he grabbed his own wrist and brought his wand up to his head, his chest heaving. She didn't want anything to do with him. He should have known and he should have just obliviated himself when the thought first occurred to him. Now there would be no problem in talking to her as a stranger, no problem moving on from his past, that is if it even worked. But he didn't want to hurt anymore. Even if it meant he lost his mind. He had heard of all the cases in which people had been driven mad or even killed from self-obliviation.

He needed to try preparing himself. What did he want gone? He'd spent so many hours over so many years thinking, but almost nothing specific came to mind at that very moment. He just wanted it gone. All gone. He as so tired of making everything wrong. The only thing it seemed he could do was work, he didn't need all these memories for that. If anything they just distracted him. He'd be happier, Pxyis would be happier. Like she said, he only caused her grief and she didn't want to talk to him anymore anyway. So what would it matter if he didn't remember? He closed his eyes as he felt the tip of his wand touch his temple, letting out a shaking breath. He'd lost it, he must had utterly lost it, he thought, if he was seriously doing it. But all this pain, that he felt and caused...he didn't want it. He'd had enough. Even if this did drive him into insanity or killed him, he'd be better off anyway then this. He didn't care if he died.

Tears started forming, his heart was beating fast, and he was shaking as he choked out, "Obliviate!" The light streamed out from his wand, and he closed his eyes tight, groaning as it felt like something was being pulled out of him. What an uncomfortable feeling...was the last thing he thought before he dropped his hand. He blinked and looked around. He furrowed his eyebrows looking extremely confused as he quickly started rushing out of the water. "Holy hell, what on Earth!" he said to himself as he came to the shore. he looked around wildly as he pulled his wet robe around himself tightly, seeing no other people out there. he cursed to himself as he ran back to the castle, up the stairs and to his room again to change out of his cold clothes. The whole time he was cursing and wondering what he was doing, sleep swimming?? He climbed into bed, his body sagging as it relaxed. He felt like he had such a rough day...His eyes drifted shut and he quickly fell asleep.

As she shut the door, she knew why she'd done it. She knew that this was for the best, that they were merely working together and not friends. SHe'd have to let go, just let go. She couldn't hold onto the desperate hope that one day he might care for her back, because she was sure it would never happen. Countless hints she'd dropped, and yet he'd never picked up on any of them. And he never would.

"It's better this way," she told herself as she walked over to her bed and laid down. "Better, always better. Don't cry, damnit Pyxis don't cry." But she couldn't force herself not to. She curled in on herself and cried, her body wracking with sobs as she wrapped her arms around her chest in a vain attempt to hold herself together. It wasn't like that time he'd vanished, because this time she'd made him leave her life. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and it was hours later that she finally ceased her crying and heard the sound of footsteps outside. She got up quickly and grabbed her wand off of her dresser, an instant reaction. She moved forwards and pushed open her door, but seeing nothing other than empty blackness she sighed and shut the door once more. Striding over to the bed, she fell onto it and cried herself into a restless, un-nerving and horrible sleep.

She awoke in the early hours of the morning, her disturbed dreams making her rise far, far earlier than normal. She sat up and brushed her hair out of her face, getting out of bed and pulling on her robe. She sighed and walked over to baby Noah's crib, looking down at the little boy as he slept peacefully. She envied him, living in a world with no worries and no love that could never be returned. She sighed heavily and wrapped her arms around herself as more tears threatened to fall. "Damn it Pyxis, be strong." She told herself angrily. She turned and walked into her personal bathroom to brush her hair. The sight she met was horrible, her face was red from crying and her eyes were bloodshot. She looked like she'd been crying for hours on end - and she had. She sighed and brushed her hair up into a ponytail, before walking out and down to the Professor's lounge, where she took a seat on the couch and warmed herself by the fire.

His dreams were fitful and menacing and all together confusing. He knew that dreams reorganized the stuff that you went through that day, but it honestly felt like his head was reorganizing his whole life. He woke with a terrible migraine, the little bit of light coming through his window made it feel like a knife was being stabbed into his temple repeatedly. He eventually rolled himself out of bed, and then noticed how terribly early it was. He felt sick to his stomach and for a moment he wondered if he was hung over....which might explain why he didn't remember anything. He vaguely remembered visiting Hogsmeade, but that felt so distant. He couldn't remember the rest of the day.... why did he feel so confused?

He went to his bathroom, washing off his face as he grabbed a potion from the counter, taking a drink from it. That ought to help... He looked into the mirror, seeing what a mess he looked like. He looked like he'd been through hell, and despite how uncharacteristic it seemed the thought that he was drinking was still in the back of his mind. He sighed and then went to go get changed, sighing as his pathetic excuse of a wardrobe. He changed and knew he needed to do some final paper work that was in the hospital wing before the school year got started.

He made his way out and down the hall to the lounge. He yawned and figured maybe he should grab a coffee to help keep him awake. If he remembered correctly the lounge should have had something out there where he could get coffee. He saw that the fire was going and someone was sitting at the couch as he went to the side of the room to the counter where some coffee was already laid out. Probably by the elves or the same charm as in the great hall, he thought. He picked up one of the cups and took a sip. he sighed and turned around as he took a second sip, leaning against the counter. He looked over at the woman sitting on the couch. She looked vaguely familiar. He might have seen her before, as she obviously was a professor here.

Pyxis felt terrible about the night previous, like the guilt was trying to consume her entire body. She felt her shoulders droop and a frown on her face as she watched the flames flicker and dance, licking at the logs like the guilt was eating up her body. How could she be so cruel to Parker, it had been an honest mistake. No harm had been meant by it whatsoever, she would've assumed so as well if she were in his position. Albeit she wouldn't have said it, but Parker often talked and thought afterwards, as if his brain was slower to process the words than his mouth was. She buried her face in her hands and sighed heavily, a few tears falling down her cheeks. She wanted to go and stick her head in the fireplace, she was sure that the pain would be lesser than that of the pain she was currently in. A life without Parker, that would be hell. It would be like those last 9 years, times a lot. She ground her teeth together and mumbled repeatedly to herself that she was stupid, a complete and utter idiot.

She lifted her head up out of her hands and stiffened like a soldier about to go into battle. She hardened her nerves and told herself to toughen up and stop being such a pathetic little baby - because it was honestly disgusting. She would apologise to Parker and beg him to stay as her friend, and hopefully he would take her back. And that would be that, nothing would be wrong anymore and she'd feel loads better. She nodded to herself and laid back, allowing herself to relax now and tried to distract herself from complete and utter gloomy, depressing thoughts that lingered around Parker. She forced an image of Noah into her mind and thought about her little baby nephew whom she loved dearly. She wondered if she should go back up and get him to hold, and decided this was a brilliant idea.

She stood up and walked back up the steps to the hallway, eyes flickering to Parker's door. She turned her gaze back to her own door and pushed it open quietly, walking along to where Noah was sleeping peacefully. She cast a sleeping-baby charm over him which would mean he didn't feel her disturbing his current position and scooped him up into her arms. She cradled him and carried him back down to the armchair, taking a seat in it and watching the flames. She barely even noticed the other person until she heard the sound of a mug scraping across the table and her head snapped up. And there he was, Parker. Her eyes widened as she stared at him, mouth open as if to say something but no sound came out. Instead, tears spilled down her cheeks and she clutched Noah tighter instinctively.

He smiled a little, seeing the small child in her arms. He usually wasn't one for children or those sorts of sappy moments, but something about it warmed his heart. The child looked just like her, and she was a very lucky mother- but he stopped himself. For some reason that didn't seem right to him. Odd...

She noticed him, and the look she gave him made him frown. He felt himself flush in embarrassment at being caught looking at her and he looked down. He cleared his throat, want to say sorry or something, but that might make it even more weird. He could sense how distressed she seemed and he looked up again, seeing her tearing up. He felt his heart sink, had he done something?? Was she okay??

He set his coffee cup down, looking very concerned. "W-what's wrong?? A-are you okay?" he stuttered out. not really sure what to say.

Pyxis was confused as he seemed to be embarrassed to be caught staring and looked down. Her head was tilted to the side as he looked back up and saw the tears. Now, confusion was clear in her eyes and she looked back to the fire, taking her time to actually realise he'd spoken. She struggled to recall what he'd said, but found it eventually and just frowned even further. She blinked a few times and shifted Noah's weight to her left arm, wiping her eyes with her right. She was completely and utterly confused, and drew Noah up closer to her as if he could protect her from her confusion and her sudden fear.

Pyxis looked back over at him and felt that something just wasn't quite right with him. Something had completely changed. She hoped he hadn't decided to pretend she didn't exist, but then, he just asked her if she was okay. Shouldn't he know that she wasn't okay? "You know what's wrong." She responded slowly, carefully. She then stood up and nestled Noah into the couch, a pillow placed next to him to keep him occupied if he woke up. She walked over to Parker with her arms crossed and stopped in front of him - a little closer than someone he'd 'just met' would stand. "Parker i'm so sorry about last night, I didn't mean what I said..." She sighed. "I know that you don't think i'm just a common slut, I took your words the wrong way and i'm so sorry for that..."

She looked about as confused as he felt. She held the child closer to her, in a protective way and he felt like he needed to step back and lean against the counter again. He seriously must have missed something. Shit. If he had been drinking, he hoped to hell he'd not done anything to hurt her or something. If he had he'd just quit and finish his training at the hospital and hide. He'd never had more then one drink before, and if he did get drunk, he didn't know how he behaved...

He furrowed his eyebrows when she replied that he should know. Shit, what?? He probably looked even more terribly confused as he tried to remember but nothing came to mind. He kept his eyes on her as she stood, nestling the child to rest on the couch. He stood up straight as she approached, feeling nervous as she stood so close to him. He couldn't even step back because he was right up against the counter. Wait, how did she know his name...? "Wait, what?" He said, sounding almost shocked, his eyes slightly wider and swimming with confusion. it then suddenly hit him and his face went red. Oh lord...had he- He cleared his throat and lowered his head, not wanting to look at her. Oh, god. What had he done. This was not like him, not like him at all...Had he gone out drinking and... Oh god, why couldn't he remember?? He shook his head slightly, muttering sorry as he tried to step around her. He needed to get out of here and fast.

Pyxis looked up as he stepped back and leaned against the counter. What in the name of hell was going on? Why was he acting like this? He seemed so confused, and now she was confused. Was he pretending like he didn't know who she was? If that was the case, she wished he'd stop now because frankly she was beginning to feel irritation rise. She wanted to storm over there and tell him to stop being a baby, she was sorry and she still wanted to be his friend, she never wanted him to leave her life. She 'hmm'ed as she nestled Noah in, pleased that her charm was working and he didn't feel a thing.

Pyxis noted with hurt that he seemed un-comfortable with how close she was to him and she took a step back, her hurt clear on her face. He looked desperately confused, and as if he was trying to remember something. But what? She felt her anger rise once more but squashed it down. Now was not the time to get angry at him, though she certainly would be later - unknown to her, of course. He asked her what, and she tilted her head at him, completely as confused as he was. "What do you mean what? What's going on with you today, you're acting all... weird..." She asked, confusion layering her tone. Realisation dawned on his features and he muttered a sorry, before trying to step around her. But she wasn't having any of that, and now she was angry. Because he was trying to run away, just like he always did. Like he always had. But this time, she refused to allow him to just run away from his problems. She grabbed his arm and yanked him back, a growl escaping her lips. "Stop it, stop walking away from all of your problems. What are you going to do, ditch me for another 9 years?" She snapped.

He could see the play of emotions on her face, hurt and anger, and more confusion. He felt a pang of guilt for being so helplessly lot and seeing her so hurt by him. He hated not understanding, but it happened so often where he was lost and had not an inkling of an idea what as going on. "Weird? Yeah, I feel like an utter wreck-" He snapped, feeling a bit put off that she was acting so familiar with him. She looked familiar and he felt bad for whatever happened, but this just made no sense. He had no clue what was going on and he was getting fed up fast.

As she grabbed his arm, he instinctively pulled away...almost violently as he leaned back from her and against the wall next to the counter. "Don't- don't touch me-" he choked out. Parker then groaned, looking frustrated as he rubbed his eyes with his hands. "Okay, I'm sorry- I'm sorry, but what on Earth are you talking about?? I-I don't know what you're on about! I-I don't...." He then looked up at her "Wait- what??" he asked, his voice raising slightly. His mind was spinning and he felt like he just needed to phase through the wall and run away. How the hell did she know he cut off from school. What the hell did she mean by 'ditching' her. He hardly knew her!

Pyxis searched his eyes now for anything other than complete and utter confusion - but there was nothing. She ground her teeth together and tried to squash down her rage as tears spilled - like they always did when she was frustrated. She could act strong, but her tears would always betray her. She recoiled as he snapped at her, holding her hands up in surrender. "Geese, Parker, chill out! Don't be snappish with me, i'm trying to fix this." She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks, wishing the tears would piss off and leave her alone. Honestly, she was so sick of crying all the freaking time. It made her feel weak, an emotion Pyxis was highly un-comfortable with.

He pulled away from her violently as she grabbed him and she jumped back as if she'd been electrocuted. She felt that flash of hurt again, like she always did whenever he pulled away from her, shut himself off like he did seventh year. She was tired of this, tired of him always leaving her. Why couldn't he just stay and let her fix things, let her help him? She gaped at him. "What? What the hell are you on about? Sorry I touched you!" She snapped, not sorry at all but furious. What the HELL was going on with him? He was acting like he didn't even know who she was at all! She blinked and started seeing things from another perspective. The sounds she'd heard the previous night, the pain on his face when she banned him from his life, the way he was acting like he had no idea who she was, his un-comfortableness with her touching him... standing close to him... "Fuck." She gasped in horror and held out her hand. "Your wand. Give. me. your. wand." She growled.

Parker felt himself deflate as she started to cry, he ran hi hand through his hair, feeling as if his head was going to explode. "This?? What is this? I hardly recognize you and have this feeling I did something terribly beyond my morals and I can't remember- so I'm sorry if I seem snappish and out of sorts, I feel like I've got some right to be, Miss!" He said, trying to be more gentle with his words, though still so incredible confused and feeling terrible to have made her in such an emotional state.

"You should be- you shouldn't go around grabbing people like that. You never know how they might react!" he snapped back again, as she was starting to get angry. He would hate to think what would happen if he'd reacted some other way...pushing her away or accidentally hurting her. He saw the look of horror on her face and returned it with another look of confusion. When she demanding he give her his wand, put his hand to his waistband. "What?? No, are you mad?" he shook his head in disbelief, utterly confused. He put his hand on her shoulder to try to gently move her away as he tried to get away from her yet again. This was so confusing. One of them was mad, but didn't know quite yet which of them it might be.

Pyxis gaped at him, disbelief clear on her features. Her rage was un-controllable now as she clenched and un-clenched her hands, the fire burning in her eyes. It was building within her, and she had an urge to set the entire room an fire. Sparks of flames flickered out of her hand, and she clenched them to make the sparks stop. "What the hell? Hardly recognise me? We were best friends for 7 years! Well, 6 since you pretty much ignored me in 7th year and then vanished! What in the name of Merlin are you on about!" She was distressed now, so confused her head was hurting. Had her whole life just been some weird dream? Was she sick in the head? No, she knew there was something wrong with him the moment she saw him, and she was determined to find out.

She pointed a finger at herself, an angered look on her face as she narrowed her eyes at him. "Me? You're the one who hit me in 7th year and then ditched me for 9 years! And now you're trying to run away from me, but no no, let's make me seem like the villain here!" She growled venomously. She wondered if she'd be able to strangle him again, but decided that was possibly the worst choice she could make in a situation like this. She laughed now, her head tilted as her laughter soon faded. "I already told you i'm mad, but you wouldn't remember that if i'm correct. Now give me your freaking wand, Parker Christopher Emery, or I will hurt you. I'm not going to do anything bad, I just need to check the last spell you've used. Please, Parker," she softened her tone now instead of using her angry one, looking at him with desperation.

Parker's eyes widened seeing the sparks from her hands. Though for some reason that wasn't all too surprising, even though he knew it wasn't normal. His hand still in his hair, he looking pained as she was shouting off that they had been best friends, that he had vanished. His migraine felt even worse, as if his head was splitting, and he honestly could not handle this. He made some sort of strangled sound in his throat, but couldn't muster up any words. He tugged on his hair, as if in some pathetic attempt to draw out of his mind to remember whatever the hell this woman was talking about.

Parker's voice cracked, his voice sounding desperately confused. "I'm not trying to do anything!!" He stopped as she laughed, one that deeply worried him, perhaps more then it should have. "What? I'm definitely not giving you my wand in that case the-" He cut himself off, stopping and staring at her with his mouth slightly opened. "How do you...?" How did she know his how name...? He looked more distressed then anything. He felt like he was light heading and going to faint also. He took in a deep breath, trying to walk away from her while keeping his eyes on her. He shook his head, looking somewhat fearful. "Why...?" he said in nearly a whisper....Why would she need to? Why should he trust her...? But something in him felt like he should.

Pyxis was finding it harder and harder to cope with the ball of rage that built within her. She felt the familiar spreading of it, as if her body was on fire. She shut her eyes and focused on making it smaller, squashing it and breaking down the fire. She didn't want to burn him, she didn't want to burn anything. She took in deep, calming breaths and felt her anger slowly die down, just a bit. She was still angry as hell, but not to the point where she'd set everything on fire in a burning ball of pure rage. That would put Noah at risk, and she would not ever harm her nephew. She finally calmed down enough to open her eyes and stare at him. This was not Parker at all, but instead someone different. Someone weird who she didn't know, who she was slightly worried about because she thought she knew him. It was making her head spin from all the confusion.

Pyxis shook her head and then brought her hands up to either side of it, rubbing at her temples and clutching her head as she fell sighed heavily. "Fine, okay, let's just calm down here or i'm going to set the bloody place on fire," she said in a hoarse voice as she tried to remain calm whilst being furious. She rolled her eyes and glared at him as he asked her how she knew his full name, well he trailed off but she knew the end of his question. "Because I was your best friend for 7 whole years! Aren't you listening to me?" She asked with raised eyebrows, hands dropping down to her sides. He made to move away, but she needed to see if he'd done it, wiped her out of his life. She desperately wished this was just some act that he was putting on to keep her away. She stood in front of him, right in front of him, so close she had to crane her neck to stare him in the eye. She placed her hands on his shoulders and stared at him brokenly, tears swimming in her eyes. "Please, Parker, I need to see your wand. I-I have to," she whispered.

The way he could feel her anger and frustration coming off her in waves was astounding. The power of her emotions almost seemed to choke him up he was already so overwhelmed. He stared at her as he also began to felt it wane and she seemed to bottle it up. He brought his hand to his chest as it felt like he was being constricted. It was honestly getting hard to breath and he wasn't even able to try to calm himself down.

"How the hell can i listen when none of it makes any sense to me! As much as I'd like to understand what you're telling me- I-" He let out a breath he didn't know he had held, tensing again as she stood right in front him him. The conflicting feeling of wanting to push her off but also feeling comforted by it made him feel even more confused and flustered and just utterly lost. His other hand was still at the waistband of his trousers. He looked down, hesitating a moment as he moved the bottom of his shirt, puling out his wand. His hand was shaking slightly as he held it. "Why, tell me why..." he trailed off and his eyes seemed to go distant for a moment as he was was about to say her name, but the word couldn't come.

Pyxis' suspicion couldn't be correct. She didn't want it to be, she wanted this to all go away. Because if he'd wiped his memory, she didn't know what she'd do. She felt herself begin to shake with rage again at the thought of trying to live knowing that he had no idea who the hell she was. She focused on her breathing again, in, out, slowly, carefully. She felt frightened, more scared than she ever had in her entire life. She looked at him and wished it wouldn't be true, wished that it would all just be some weird thing she made up in her head. Merlin, she wished she was sleeping and this was some bizarre dream that she'd wake up from soon.

"Please, dear Merlin, don't tell me you actually did it," she squeaked in terror, running her hands through her hair and yanking harshly at it, pulling at the roots. "Okay, okay, don't listen, just... everything might make sense in a moment, if you give me your wand," she begged. She had to know, she had to. She wanted to know if her best friend, the love of her life, had just lost all of his memories involving her. Because if he had, she needed to think about what to do. She couldn't go on without him, but she certainly couldn't abandon Noah when he'd already lost his parents. She was pleased as he seemed to give in, hesitantly holding his wand and asking her why. She ignored him and snatched the wand out of his grasp, jumping back and pulled out her own. She waved her wand over his, eyes filled with tears. "Priori Incantatem," she waved her wand and the last spell flickered before her. 'Obliviate'. She let both wands fall to the ground and stumbled backwards, barely believing what she'd just seen. Tears poured rapidly down her cheeks as she fell backwards, landing on her backside and scrambling back until she hit the armchair that Noah was asleep on. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," she repeated over and over, clawing at her chest desperately because it hurt so much.

"Did what? What are you so frightened for??" He looked down, letting some of that fear envelope him. Did he do something awful...something so awful he blocked it out? The human mind was a powerful thing and could warp anything into a capable situation. In the back of his head, something told him his mind was already in such a fragile state. Something in him felt on the verge of snapping, and he didn't know what is was.

Not looking up, he just closed his hand into a fist as she snatched his wand away. As she jumped back though he snapped his head up, looking on in confusion as she checked his spells. "What? Why are you- what are you doing that for??" he asked, fear picking up in his voice. He tensed as the wands fell and then she did. He opened his closed hand, his wand going back to it after a brief moment. Something felt so very wrong...

He knelt down to grab to wand, but his vision went blurry and he suddenly became very dizzy. Knelt down on one knee, he dropped his wand and clutched his head with both hands as he wavered slightly. He moved enough so that he could grab onto a nearby chair to try to pull himself up. He needed air. He needed out. Why....why did nothing make any sense? He scrambled up, hurrying out the door of the lounge, needing to get to the hospital wing...

Pyxis looked up at him and contemplated telling him her fear of what he might've done. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words could be found because she found herself overcome with fear. It was the solution to all of the facts that she currently had, but she didn't want to believe it. Her hands began to shake un-controllably, and she had to focus on her breathing to calm herself down enough to actually confiscate his wand and perform the spell to see if her suspicions were correct. She hoped beyond hope that they weren't.

She looked at him as he asked her why she was checking his spells, her heart slowly shattering to millions of little pieces in her chest. Everything seemed to slow down, her movement of the wand dropping fascinated her as she watched it slowly drop to the ground. She felt herself falling, as if she wasn't in control of her body anymore and she was scrambling backwards, away from what she didn't want to be true. Tears were pouring down her cheeks like a river, her head shaking as she spoke the word 'no' like a broken record.

Everything snapped back into focus and she wrapped her arms around herself, un-able to contain the feeling inside of her as she sobbed brokenly. It was so painful she would rather be dead, she just wanted this pain to go away. How could he do this to her? How could he? She glared up at him with disgust as he began to walk away after collapsing. She'd just had her life ruined for the second time! And this time it was permanent, she could never get him back. Could she? She jumped up and ran at him, skidding to a halt in front of him and throwing her arms out with a growl. "Fuck you! How could you do this to me?" She snapped, pointing her hand at his wand. "Do you want to see what you've done to me?" She asked.

Parker felt something shatter in him to hear her sobs. Something about the sound was far more upsetting then whatever some woman was afraid or worried about concerning an acquaintance. There was longing and betrayal, and something that just seemed so, so broken in her. He'd heard cries like that before in the hospital. None of those bothered him as terribly as this though. This really struck him. But why? What had just happened? Parker felt her running over to him, but as she slid in front of him it still caught him startled. He slid to a halt, flinching. His arm moved up to block him from her, flexing and hand clenching in response. He yelled out, startled an in an almost animalistic way, "Stop that!!" his voice cracked again, and his hair was messed up. Why did being reached out to and being startled like that elicit such a strong reaction? He knew he living in a bad place but hell, with his reactions one would think he used to be beat or something...

"I don't know what you're talking about!" He snapped back, stepping away from her as she pointed at him. "No, I don't! I don't know what I did, but you apparently should stay away from me if I make you this upset!" He barked out, the words were just flowing out and he knew he wasn't thinking. Terrible things happened when he didn't censor himself, he knew that. "Whatever I did to you, I'm sorry! I'm sorry as I possibly can be! I don't know what you want from me, but just leave. me. alone. " Those last words though, for reasons unbeknownst to him, came out sounded half-hearted. He just stared at her, breathing heavily and wide-eyed with anxiety.

Pyxis rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, trying her hardest to fight a fresh wave of tears. She ignored his words, knowing that they weren't real, because he wasn't Parker. Parker no longer existed, at least, her Parker didn't. She sighed and let her head droop, a sigh leaving her as her quick emotions flipped the anger into complete and utter depression. Her chest felt heavy as she sunk a bit, but managed to hold herself together. She stumbled over to the wall and put her hand on it, holding herself up. Her body felt so heavy, her legs were shaking violently, and her eyes were hollow. "You removed me from your memory," she stated blankly. "I don't exist to you anymore, and now... now i'm alone... again..." She laughed hollowly, then ran a shaking hand through her hair. "Why did you come back? I wish you hadn't. Now it's just going to be even harder, knowing your alive and you don't even know who I am." She was talking more to herself than him.

She looked over at him now, thinking about his reaction and his words he had spoken. She frowned and analysed them carefully, her temper ready to flare rather quickly. She sighed and pressed her back against the wall, sliding down to the floor rather slowly. "I'll leave you alone now, there's not point even knowing you anymore. I guess it doesn't matter anymore, but I love you. Three little words I never got to say, and I doubt you would've returned the feelings anyway. You've always been so... confused when it comes to your emotions. Always so oblivious, but I guess that's just the thing with boys. You didn't grow out of it, though, strangely enough," she shrugged. She was talking to him now as if he were a stranger, because to him she was just that. Pyxis sighed.

Parker's face relaxed to a look of total desolation when the words crashed over his hears. There seemed to be a low, looming rumbling in his ears and a dull pain in his chest as the utter reality sunk in... His neck and back were sore and tense, and the pain still in his head was splitting. He felt himself go dizzy again, and he shook his head to try to clear it. "no..." he said quietly. "why..? why would i..." he asked again, still quiet, but an anxious urgency veiled just underneath. He didn't expect her to reply, or even to know. But he was shocked. "I shouldn't be sane right now-" he mentally quipped that he didn't think he was to begin with if he even considered such a thing. The idea of it and her shallow laugh made him sick to his stomach, and he held onto his side. His breathing was shallow. He was sick, there was something wrong with him to have done such a thing and to have been to desperate that it actually worked.

Most of her words were flying over his head, him not being able to really grasp onto reality at the moment, his mind kept trying to flit back to memories, or anything having to do with her. It wanted to remember so badly...but there was nothing there. He heard her words this time, and he looked down at her, mouth slightly open not knowing that to say. Hearing her say those three words, he spoke, voice wavering. "no..don't say that. th-that's...that's not fair...." He felt like he couldn't catch a full breath as he looked at her. He wanted to ask her her name. Maybe it would bring something familiar. But it would kill him. He should know it, right? And it would hurt her too. Fuck, why did he have to do this...?? Parker looked down at his feet for a moment, and for some reason they didn't even seem like his own. He shut his eyes for moment and shook his head slightly. He needed to keep it together, he needed to keep his grasp on reality. He then remembered he had an old college at the hospital that worked with this sort of thing and he lifted his head up again- "Please-" he said suddenly, looking at her again and pleading, "Please help me..."

Pyxis could remember that feeling she first encountered when she'd realised that Parker had left her that first time, and she'd believed he wasn't coming back. She'd rather quickly run to her bathroom and thrown up, for the thought of never seeing him again was so repulsive to her. Weakened, she slowly lost who she was to this pathetic excuse of a life form that focused on her potion skills and nothing else. She wouldn't talk to anyone - not that there was anyone to talk to, mind you - and every guy who approached her would rather quickly realise she was damaged beyond repair. None of them wanted to fix her. A similar, disgusted and nausetic feeling plagued her now, but intensified by quite a lot because he could never come back to her now. She'd lost her Parker forever. Her skin took on a green tinge and she felt so dizzy that his words were almost lost on her. "Because you're an asshole?" She suggested weakly.

Pyxis' moved her body forwards and rested her head in her hands, trying hard not to throw up, or gag, or anything along those lines. She was so hurt, so emotionally destroyed that she had no tears to cry. That was something new, because she cried a lot, when she was angry, sad, happy, irritated, but now, it hurt too much. She hurt too much to cry. This man was not anyone she knew, he was something else. Sure, she could tell him and show him his life, but he'd never really know what it was like to be Parker. "Not fair?" Her temper sparked, she slowly lifted her body and pointed her finger menacingly at him. Her eyes were dark, filled with pure anger and rage that needed to be un-leashed. "Un-fair? Oh, has that thought occurred to you now? That this is un-fair? You didn't seem to think it was un-fair when you were doing it, nor when you refused to talk to me in seventh year, not when you hit me in seventh year, and it most definitely didn't occur to you when you abandoned me for 9 years!" She growled. Suddenly, he was pleading. And whether it was an instinct of his, some part of him that hadn't lost the memory remembering how to get to her, or just something that was automatic, she wasn't sure, but it seemed as if he knew exactly how to get her anger to dissolve. She hated it, how much of an effect he had on her. How easily her anger could be replaced by any other emotion that applied to the situation. "Why... why should I?" She whispered weakly.

Parker watched as she seemed to get more and more upset. She looked like she was going to be physically ill which in turn made Parker even more upset and disgusted with himself and what he had apparently done. He felt the churning in his stomach and the world seemed to be wavering beneith his feet. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to make the ringing in his ears stop. He could feel more panic rise from within him and could only nod when she called him an asshole. He then added a weak, "I know..." not able to think of anything else to say. She seemed so nice, worried about it. Why would he not have gone to her for help if he was so distressed? Was he not able to? Had something else happened?

He kept his eyes shut tight. Hoping that he's either wake up, find something familiar in his head, or maybe just pass out. he certainly felt light headed, empty even. He opened his eyes and brought them to hers as she seemed to snap, get angry. Something about it didn't bother him though, it felt better then to see her whither down in front of him. Every word she said felt like a deep stab in the chest, though there was no memory to accompany the feeling. It was a strange and absolutely terrible feeling. He could hardly stand up straight, one hand gripping his side, the other gripping his head. He felt a weak sob escape, his body trembling slightly. "I'm so confused. My head, P...." a word wanted to come to him, he didn't know what it was though.Hhe faltered and in his frustration, he groaned. "Please, everything hurts- I can't- I can't do this...!"

Pyxis wished this was all just a horrible nightmare, that she'd wake up now. She could picture it in her head, waking up and going down to the lounge, seeing Parker there. She'd run at him and tell him how sorry she was, how she didn't mean it. She pinched herself sharply on the arm, but when she remained in place a choked sob left her once more. This couldn't be real, how could she loose him? How? She wanted to throw something, break something, do anything really. She wanted to let out her anger and frustration, but suddenly a very horrible realisation hit her as she snapped her head up to meet his gaze when he said 'I know'. This was her fault. If she hadn't over-reacted, none of this would've happened. She lifted her hands up and smacked herself on the head, before dropping them down. "No, no, you aren't. This is- this is all my fault," she croaked out, silent sobs wracking her body. "I over-reacted, and now... now i've... i've lost you forever," she felt as if she'd been winded.

Pyxis tried to squash down her raging anger, directed at him and herself. This was all her fault, but why did he have to obliviate himself? Did he think it would be easier for them both if he just forgot about her? She could remember her words, that she wanted him out of her life forever. She hadn't meant it though, heck she'd always want him in her life. No matter how much anger he caused her, sorrow, irritation, and just out-right all of those negative emotions, she still loved him with all of her heart. Because in the end, he was Parker. Parker who'd always been there, who'd been her shoulder to cry on, who'd made her life, made her furious, but just made her... happy. She blinked at him as he stared with a 'P'. Had he been about to say her name? "Parker," she breathed. She slowly lifted herself up and stared at him with tears sliding down her cheeks more rapidly now. "My name's Pyxis, Pyxis Wilson," she hoped that might trigger something in him.

The spinning and ringing in his head would not stop. He was starting feel nauseated with the confusion and frustration that was overwhelming him. It didn't feel like a regular sort of confusion either. It was the type he'd been trained to deal with in patients. The one where reality seemed distorted or altered and he hardly knew what was going on. It would be weird if he didn't feel like that though, right? After all, his perception of reality had been changed drastically. He let out a pained breath and opened his eyes to look at her, seeing.... realization? in her eyes....

He raised his hands in almost a defensive manner and took a step away to put some space between them. "No, it couldn't be your-" He closed his eyes tight, trying to go into healer mode, to try to explain how people who do this sort of thing....weren't stable. There was no one to blame for that sort of thing. But the words wouldn't come and his knees felt weak. He leaned back against the nearby wall. He took in a sharp breath, running both hands through his hair as he tried not to slide down the wall to the floor. "I'm responsible for this, I'm the one who did it. And damn it, I'm so sorry..." he said quietly, the end sounding more like a whimper.

He took in a breath and held it. All these emotions where swirling around in him with no memories or reasons behind them to connect them too. As she said her name, he slid down against the wall to the floor, his face in his hands and his shoulders heaving. He hated that he was freaking out at the moment, but his mind was in such a fritz he couldn't handle any of this. The name wasn't familiar to him. And he wanted to scream. He hit his head back on the wall, groaning, not even caring if other professors had some through. Maybe if he hit himself enough times it could come to him....he knew it was lost though... He kept his head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed still. "Pyxis....Pyxis, please..." he repeated her name, hoping it sounded right to him. He wasn't sure. About any of it. Was this even really happening? "Please, get me out of here-" he pleaded of her again.