Tessa was so upset. Her father finally passed away. And everything was going to a down spiral. She still had Lily, but she had a feeling that Damien would try and take her away from her. And she had no idea where her life was going. But everything looked like it was going down. She came back and thought Damien would forgive her. But he didn't, he married Anne. Tessa was crying because of her father. She made sure that Lily was out of the house and didn't have to see this. She knew that if Damien wanted her back before. All he had to do was ask Charles. But he didn't.

She would have to sit Lily down and explain that her grandpa was now gone. This was something that she had no idea. Tessa avoid Damien after he throw a glass and broke it. It was enough to scare her. She just wanted to just up and move. Tessa could move closer to Feli, and take Lily with her. There was nothing that was keeping her in England. She could always transfer and work at Beauxbatons. Tessa wanted to keep Lily as far away from Damien as she could.

Damien had not talk to Tessa in over a month, basically since the episode in the kitchen. He did not blame her for being upset and he had been meaning to apologize to her, he was just to nervous to do it. When she would bring Lily over she basically just gave her to Anne and left.

Since Damien had heard about Charles passing away he thought it would be best to go and check on her and make sure she didn't need anything. Unknown to Tessa he had been visiting Charles in the hospital, he had known him a long time not too.

Tessa also did not know that over the years he had always talked to Charles over the years, Charles knew that Damien said it was for the best that Tessa not be around him. Now that he met Lily he understood why Charles was always pushing him to go back to Tessa.

Damien was really nervous to knock on Tessa's door, but he knew it needed to be done. She would either open it or slam the door in his face.

Knocking on the door he wait for Tessa to open it. "Hi Tessa, I came to give you my condolences."

Tessa got up and went to answer the door and saw that it was Damien. All she wanted to do was just scream at him. Because that is how she was feeling right now. But she had let him her, her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying that she had been doing. She then walked back over and sat back down.

“ What the hell do you want. Last I remember you was drunk and throw a glass and broke it. And I don't give a damn about your condolences, there is nothing keeping me in England anymore. I am about ready to leave for Germany with Artemis on a dangerous mission to get DJ back. For all I know I might end up dead and you will get what you want. Lily. If you wanted me, all you had to do was ask my father where I was at. I would have told you about Lily. There wasn't a single day that went by that I didn't think about you.”

She then started to cry cause her life was even more messed up. “ Just leave Damien. All that is going to happen is we are going to get into another fight and you are going to say something that hurts me. Can't you see I am already in so much pain and nothing helps. Everything been taken away from me expect Lily. My father is dead, you remarried and I have nothing.”

Damien just stood there and took it, he deserved it and more. He wished she would just hex him or smack him. He watched her sit down and then he went in front of her and knelled.

"I didn't come here to fight just to say I am sorry about your dad, he was like a father too me and I talked to him all the time. He wanted to tell me where you were but I told him you deserved better than a drunk." Damien sighed.

"Tessa you were right and I suppose if you want to hate me forever, that's your choice, but I am going to say this first. I did settle for you because Anne didn't want me back in school, but that doesn't mean I never loved you, because I did. we have a beautiful little girl to prove that, whether or not you choose to believe it." Damien said taking a breathe.

"But I am not apologizing for it any more, there is no point, its done, its over and Anne and I are married and you are seeing some guy. I am the one who threw you away and it was my loss." Damien stood up

"If you think I want to take Lily away from you, you are completely wrong. You are a very good mother and you should stay here and take care of her, because I am the one to go and find DJ, just as if it was Lily I was searching for."

Damien started to walk for the door, "Maybe then I will be the one who is dead and you won't have to worry about me anymore."

All Tessa could do was cry. And at this point she was crying harder. “ I thought that you would come back and find me. That is why I told my father when I talked to him all the time. I sent him pictures of Lily all the time. I thought you would have seen them.”

When she heard him saying that she was right only made her only want to cry more. “ I was only second best in school.” She didn't want to believe it growing up but she knew that it was true. But she wanted to believe that Damien loved her.” When she thought about Lily she started to cry even harder. “ A beautiful little girl who you called a spoiled brat and accused me of teaching her how to be mean to Anne.”

She then started to sigh. “ I am not seeing some guy. He came over and I wanted to make sure that Lily approved of him first. And I have no idea where that is heading. I wanted so bad to wake up one day and find that you came back to me. Every day I would look at the door, hoping that you would walk back into my life.”

“ I have already have my contacts in Germany looking for him. Mishka said that Kate was teaching at the school. And Artemis is actually the one who will be coming in contact with them. If you would take Lily I wouldn't stop you. I blame myself for not letting you in her life.”

"I never noticed Tessa, before the last couple of years I was always drunk, he could have showed them too me and it would have never clicked." Damien sighed, he really wished he hadn't been married to the bottle.

Damien smirked a little, "Tessa you have to admit she is spoiled we give her what she wants to keep her happy."

Damien had to laugh a little when she said this guy was not serious yet, "Well leave it to a six year old and you will be married in a month."

Damien sighed again and made his way over to a chair. "Really Tessa, I do not want to take Lily from you."

Damien had a second thought about it, "I know a set f twins teaching there too and not only is Kate there but so is Kat, she is hiding under the name of Kairi."

Tessa sighed. “ I thought you would have noticed that she had your eyes. And I am shocked my father didn't tell you there was days that she acted just like you.” She felt bad that Lily missed out on her father to be apart of her life.

“ She isn't spoiled Damien, she is down to earth. She knows that I will let her watch movies or make her favorite foods for her. Anything to keep her happy.”

Tessa then started to sigh. “ I never want to get married again Damien. I don't think that I can go through it again. Everything that you did, I can't do it again.”

She looked up at Damien. “ I would understand if you did.”

“ That is what Mishka told me. She was spying on them trying to help me out.”

Damien just shook his head, "Like I told you Tessa I was too drunk to notice most of the time, and back then I did 't want to know anything."

Damien moved to sit next to Tessa, "Don't let me ruin things for you Tessa, your a great girl, and you make the perfect wife. I was a arse and you didn't deserve me. You deserve better, someone that puts you first."

Damien sighed "What makes you think I want to take Lily from you?" Damien could not understand why she thinks he would do that.

"Well I will be leaving for Germany in the next few days and I will check things out."

Tessa then started to cry. “ Not even me, we was married for a little bit. Did that not even matter one bit.”

She then was holding a snow globe that her father got her when she had first got married to Damien. It was something that she keep and would listen to the music. It was something that would put her to sleep thinking Damien would come back to her. She then threw it up against the wall, watching it break. “ I don't want to go through it again Damien, I thought I loved you and you had the same feeling.”

“ Because I am scared that you think that I have been teaching Lily to act like she has. And you already threaten to take her from me when she first meet you.”

“ Artemis is already on it, I told him to owl me if anything went wrong.”

Damien sighed when Tessa starting crying, "What are you wanting me to say Tessa, I drowned myself in a bottle, I didn't even care about myself and I wanted to be dead. I lost my best friend, and I pushed away the only other person that truly cared about me."

Damien really didn't know what else to say, yes he choose to marry Tessa because Anne told him he needed to be with Tessa, he did love Tessa always, just not as much as he loved Anne and no one would ever understand why, not even himself.

Damien watched her throw the snow globe across the room and watched it shatter. He got up and went over and using his wand "Reparo" he said and watched it fix itself. "Tessa you really loved that globe, don't do that. We were happy for the most part, I always treated you like you deserved. Everything was great until Anne died." Damien held the globe in his hands.

"Honest Tessa, in the beginning taking Lily was about hurting you the way you hurt me keeping her from me, but Anne made me understand why you did, and I don't blame you anymore." He was still holding the globe looking at it.

Tessa was still crying. “ That you still loved me Damien. I waited for six years for you to come back. Saying that you needed me. I loved you Damien, I would have done anything for you. I would have walked through fire for you. There wasn't a single day that I didn't think about you. When I was thinking what I wanted to name Lily.”

She then continued to cry cause Tessa could tell that her life was just one big mess. Tessa thought that everything would be prefect when she decided to move back. How she was wrong about that, she found that Damien had been dating Anne for a month. That is when she felt like she was dying inside.

“ I hate that globe it reminds me of every little dream that I had that can't come true now. I got bad for six years dreaming and hoping that you would waltz back into my life. But you did, and you went and married Anne.” She then looked and seen that he repaired the snow globe.

She sighed. “ It would have killed Damien. I would have had nothing left.”

Damien was getting tired of this old CD, it was like it was stuck on repeat. "Tessa I do love you, I have loved you since we were 11 years old, I just don't love you the way you want me too. We have been through a lot over the 15 years and certain feeling will never be shut off, but we can't dwell in the past anymore. What we had is gone and we need to move into the future for Lily."

Damien was not sure what else to say to her, he knew he was breaking her heart all over again, but he was married to Anne now and she was either going to have to deal with it, or they would have to figure something else out.

"Tessa there is nothing wrong with keeping memories of the past, we did create Lily with the love we had and all you have to do is tell her about the good times, not the bad. Give the globe to her, if you really do not want it anymore."

Damien head to the door so he could leave soon, "Tessa I will always be there for you if you need anything, just as I was for Anne while we were together. All you have to do is ask."

Tessa looked up and started to glare at Damien. “ Damien if you loved me and if our vows meant anything to you. You truly loved me you would have taken me back. Over the past six years I watched people say I love you but never meant it Damien. It is just another eight letter word.” She hated it that he was standing there saying that he loved her and blah blah blah. “ I am not that same scared little girl that you meet on the train our first year.”

She could feel her heart breaking all over again. This was something that she hated. Tessa knew that she told Anne that she forgave her. But Tessa knew that she couldn't never. Because she felt like she took Damien away from her.

“ I am never telling Lily of the past. It is something that she doesn't need to know about. How left me and then she will start asking why her parents aren't together. And then I have to tell her everything bad thing that you done to me.”

She then started to cry again. “ Just leave me alone, just keep Lily for me.”

Damien rolled his eyes he was done trying to have this conversation with her he was going to leave and if she wanted to leave and take Lily with her then fine he was not going to stop her.

"Whatever Tessa, believe me or not. But you are not going to Germany, you have to take care of Lily, plain and simple. Or do you want her to end up in an orphanage just like you did when she loses both parents?"

Tessa was glaring at Damien still. “ I don't care anymore Damien. If love was there then we would still have been together and talked it through.”

“ Yes I need to go and get away. I don't need Lily seeing me like this. I have to tell her somehow that her grandpa died. Damien don't go to Germany please. Don't leave me.”

Damien had his hand on the door knob looking at it. "Tessa, I have dealt enough with my demons over this. If you don't want to believe I ever loved you then that's your choice."

Damien could do nothing but sigh, "I see how it is, your going to leave Lily with me so I can answer her questions about why her mommy left."

Damien turned and looked at Tessa, "So what do you want me to say Tess, mommy wasn't grown up enough to handle that her husband wasn't in love with her any more so she just left you to deal with her demons. Your starting to sound like me Tessa. It doesn't pay to run away from your problems."

Tessa was still crying. “ I just want things to be like when we was in school. And that is never going to happen because we was young then.”

“ I am not leaving Damien. I just don't want Lily to see me like this. I don't want her to see me crying like the mess that I am.”

She looked at Damien. “ I don't know what to do anymore. My life is so messed up. And my father dying isn't helping anything.”

Damien sighed a little, "Sure like it was ok for her to find me drunk in the kitchen after our last fight. Where's the difference?"

Damien wanted this just to be over, every time he got around Tessa he wanted to pull her into his arms and make the pain go away, he just wants her to understand they can never be more than friends, and if it is always like this they can never be friends.

"The best thing to do Tessa, is put your chin up high and move on with your life, thats all that is left."

Tessa was still crying. “ I have to explain that her grandpa died Damien. Do you know how hard that is going to be for me?”

She was still crying cause her life was a complete mess. Nothing has gone right expect for Lily. Which she found that she had been calling Anne mommy and this made her more upset. Nothing was looking good in her life at this moment.

“ It isn't fair Damien. That you are so happy and have everything good. And my life is a complete mess. What happened Damien? In school I thought my life would be perfect and it isn't.”

Damien knew there was nothing that he could do at that moment but pull Tessa into his arms and hold her tight and try to make the pain go away.

"Shh, Tessa, everything will work out for the best, I promise." Damien just held her rubbing her back.

He was at a loss of what to do, he hated seeing Tessa like this when she used to be full of fire, but he knew he didn't love her the way she wanted him too.

"Things happen for reason we can never explain, and we have to move on whether we want to or not." Damien sighed, how could she even think that they were happy at that moment.

"Tessa how can you even think right now things are happy at my house, DJ is gone and Anne and I are a mess."

Tessa was a little bit shocked when Damien pulled her into his arms. But she was still crying, the pain was still there.

She was crying cause that is what she felt like. Everything that could go wrong did. And here Damien was holding her like he did when they was still is school. “ What if it doesn't and things get worse?”

Tessa didn't feel like she was the same person anymore. Like she was no longer Tessa. She knew Damien would never love her so she was to the point where she wanted to give up.

Nothing that Damien was saying was making her feel any better.

“ You finally got what you always wanted. You married Anne.”

Damien knew he was probably making things worse by holding her, but that was the only way he knew how to calm Tessa down, it always used to work, but the pain he has caused and wounded her deeply and he could not fix that pain. He would like it to go away, but he knew that it would take time.

"Tessa, there is nothing I can say to make it all go away, all I can do now is be there when you need something." Damien really did not know what else to say.

When she commented about marrying Anne, he had to sigh. Marrying Anne wasn't what he always wanted, he had wanted to be happy with Tessa too at one time.

Tessa loved it when Damien was holding her. It reminded her a happier time in her life. But she knew that this wouldn't ever help her know. Her life was messed up and she knew there was nothing to fix it.

“ I just want the pain to go away Damien. And it doesn't.”

She knew that she hadn't been happy for a long time.

Damien continued to hold Tessa stroking her long hair down her back.

"I know it hurts, and I am sorry I caused it to hurt" Damien really didn't know how to fix it and it was killing him inside.

"In order for us all to move on, you have to realize that you did nothing wrong and its all my fault. Hate me, Blame me, I don't care but you have to move on if you want to heal." Damien sighed and just continued to hold her.

Tessa continued to let Damien hold her.

“ I just want the hurt to start Damien. I can't go on living like this.” She was crying a little bit.

“ Damien I just want things to be like they was. I gave you everything and asked for nothing in return. And now you are so what happy, and I am down upset.” Tessa then started to cry again.