Closing off the compartment door, he sighed in relief at the fact that he could be alone. Occlumency wasn't really a challenge, it was basically meditation and the failure of it all, their impatience was frustrating, but satisfying when they smiled as they got something right.

Yes he had gotten the job half through the year but he had made up for it by having tough classes to try and get them to learn. It had been hell, especially with Victoria who he had avoided like the plague. Everytime he saw her a pang would occur in his chest, and bile rose up.

He was sick of seeing her, sick of feeling for her, and just sick of everything that reminded him of her. Right now, reading his book made all those thoughts go away.

Victoria walked slowly through the train, to the professor's section. She'd never been to this section, since she arrived at Hogwarts a few weeks into the year. Really preferring to be alone right now, she moved past the occupied cabins, stopping to wave at Albus before moving on. As she came closer and closer to the end of the cabins, her heart sank at the thought of having to play nice with people she didn't really know.

She approached the last cabin and jerked back, her heart in her throat. Alec. Her eyes shifted around the corridor, trying to find another option. She'd done well avoiding him over the weeks. But a part of her didn't want to avoid him anymore. That little spark of hope that Tess brought back in her wanted to fling open the door and tackle that gorgeous, brooding, angry man.

Thinking of Tess, she remembered her advice. Confuse...Entice...Toy... She groaned. This was going to go horribly wrong. But she hadn't given up hope. And her whole body ached to just be around him again. Pushing away from the wall, she smoothed down the material of her pencil skirt and tried to control her features. Going for aloof, she approached the door and knocked gently.

Alec was enthralled in his reading. He was known to read when he wanted to escape reality, it was a safe haven. Hearing a knocking though, made him turn to face the door, frustrated at being interrupted. He took off his glasses and leaned back to see who it was. A frowned etched his face as he saw her.

'Were the rest of the places full? Ugh figures.' he thought.

He signaled her to enter, knowing that he had to be civil in a public area.

Victoria hissed in a shaky breath before opening the door. Looking him in the eyes steadily, not looking for a fight, but not backing down, the corners of her mouth twitched. "All the other cabins were full." She turned, closing the door gently. It felt like the hair at the nape of her neck was standing on edge.

Moving to the bench, she took a seat across from him, next to the window. She took shuffled through her extended messenger bag, looking for her phone. She'd made plans to see Tess when she got back to London, but just wanted to check that she hadn't been scheduled to stay later. It was hard to ignore the fact that it was their first time alone since the scene in the forest. She wanted to play coy, and aloof, but she could feel the air charged with energy.

Figuring she'd stalled long enough, she let her gaze settle on him. Her heart twinged in it's all too familiar ache, but she blocked it out, happy to just see him. He didn't look happy to see her, but she shrugged inwardly. They couldn't avoid each other forever.

"So...how was your first year teaching?"

Alec nodded ignoring her gaze. He figured that was the reason, he hated crowds and cliques...also he knew Parker Emery was in the train and no matter how it amused him when he was to bother him, now he didn't want to deal with anything stressful.

He was sitting near the window, and when she sat close to it, he didn't like how close she was; even being across from him, breathing the same air just...he wanted to avoid that. He scooted away from the window, and leaned against the wall of the compartment, his body laid across the seat on his side, as he opened his book once more and let the silence take over.

"Fine" was his response.

Victoria bit her lip to keep from apologizing. Alec's movement to sit as far from her as possible was an obvious 'you're not welcome here'. And as twisted as the situation was, the reason she wasn't feeling social being the one thing she was drawn to now, she didn't want to leave. Instead, she slipped off her high heels and stretched out on her own bench, mirroring him.

She looked him over, feeling her heart beating frantically in her chest. It had been so long since she was this close to him, and she'd forgotten how drop dead gorgeous he was, the glasses only adding fire to her attraction. Trying to make light of their situation, she sighed audibly.

"You can do better than that, Black. Most of these children wouldn't know a lick of Occlumency if it bit them in the ass."

Alec lowered his book and raised his brow. What was she after? She didn't talk like that normally, in fact her trying to spit venom his way only made him be a bit intrigue rather than insulted. She looked uncomfortable, those words foreign and a bit crude.

"You have such a way with words Rossmund." he drawled out. "Crude through and through, but to inform you, they have no complaints. Also, who are you to judge, you don't even teach."

He didn't care for her attitude, it was annoying, and frustrating.

Victoria's eyes widened slightly at the fact that Alec was actually paying attention to her. She normally had a brighter outlook on things, but lately? Not so much. As much as she loved the students who came to her for help, she welcomed the summer break.

Relaxing a little, now that Alec was finally talking to her, she searched in her bag and grabbed out a book of poetry that she was trying to force herself to read. She'd transfigured the cover to look like an adventure novel, which she did like, so that she could read in peace. She had started reading love poetry to try to keep her hopes up, to try to believe that love was still possible. It was helping...a bit.

"Words are just words, Black. I can say whichever I choose. And I was just suggesting that you could use more than one word to answer a question."

She didn't even want to respond to the teacher dig. In all honesty, if one was offered, she'd take it in a heartbeat. But it was nice, in light of recent events, not to have to worry about having students to teach. Turning the page, she started to read the next poem. "Love! you dealt a bitter blow –" Nope! She quickly turned that page as well, pursing her lips at the irony.

Alec snorted at her comment and shook his head. He was reading a book all about Psychology and Sociology a study in Muggle culture that he found interesting. Honestly, her reading an adventure book seemed so childish. She never really faced adventure, rather chose something safe, and in all honesty he was expecting something disgustingly cheesy.

"If words are just words, then how can you be so impacted by something as simple as three...simple...words" he let out with a Cheshire grin. "Or be reduced to tears by nothing...don't be a hypocrite"

The words on Victoria's page faded away, surrendering to the battle within her. She could feel the fire of her anger swelling up from her stomach, threatening to choke her. So many words flew around her head. How dare he attack her way of life! How-

She resisted the urge to clench her jaw. Closing her eyes, she felt the now familiar chill spread through her veins, dousing the heat. It was still there, but burning like a small ember in the center of her heart.

She lifted her gaze to land heavily on Alec. "Well, you certainly showed me the error of my ways. Thank you." Not trusting herself to say more at the moment, she turned the page, trying to concentrate, but failing miserably.

"See even my words worked on you now darling"

Alec let out a lazy smile and a wink before lowering his gaze back to her book. His lip twitched, in amusement at how her face reddened, her anger not hidden in a good way. She was so easy to stir, always dealing with matters of the heart. What he once found endearing was now frustration.

He flipped through the next page, enjoying the hum of the train as it road down the tracks, and wondering how long would this take for his torture to end.

Victoria felt a shiver down her spine. She was terrible at this, and she knew it. But she wasn't going to let it all out. Not now. Not when she didn't have anywhere else to go. But she couldn't ignore the way her stomach flipped when he said that.

She tucked her legs under her, not wanting to face him anymore. Gazing out the window, she took a deep breath, trying to find comfort in the beautiful hills and valleys around them. She wished so badly that she could be out there, instead of in this cabin. With a man that obviously had gotten over her, in a way she only dreamed she ever could.

"Well, I apologize. I can't be an emotionless robot. Like some people."

Alec lifted his hand, his gaze never leaving the book and waved her off. Whatever she was trying to do, it was failing greatly. She made everything so uncomfortable, and apparently silence wasn't really her forte, nor was bickering. She took everything too heart and that was her downfall. It was sad really.

"Oooo was that suppose to sting?" he mocked lightly. "It stung me right here"

He said pointing to his chest, before rolling his eyes. Honestly so childish.

"Stop apologizing it's annoying and believe me I've heard it from your mouth enough times."

Victoria bit her tongue. She wanted to say so much at his mocking her. Comments about how he didn't have a heart crossed her mind, though she didn't really want to go there. She couldn't bare the possibility that it could be true. As much as this man infuriated her, and made her long for the sweet caress of Obliviate, she loved him still.

She couldn't hide the pain in her voice as she closed her eyes tightly. "Fuck you."

She was sick and tired of his highhandedness! As if nothing could touch him. As if she was a stupid little child for simply loving him. She sighed. "I never lied to you, Alec. I was an open book with you. I..." Her words moved to choke her, or maybe the tears she refused to let form. She let out a short laugh.

"What am I even saying? None of this matters to you!" She opened her book and tried to lose herself, angry that she'd let her heart get the better of her.

Alec rolled his eyes as he saw the tears; again the tears. Did she think that it was going sway him? Long ago he had learned that a woman's tears were nothing to be swayed by. He remembered the quote "He who tries to forget a woman, never loved her" Well he supposed this was him at the moment, trying to tell himself he didn't once love her.

"You nearly had your chance but didn't and stop whimpering for Merlin's sake. Aren't women supposed to be strong and what not"

He shook his head but avoided her gaze, it hurt to see her cry, he was sick of her crying. "When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her." He remembered that quote and sighed. It was harder than expected.

"Here" he mumbled and handed her his handkerchief. "Keep it, and don't cry, strong women don't cry"

He ignored her comments about open books and bit back a jibe he had. Hell if she wasn't so open perhaps they'd still be together now wouldn't they? He shook his head and didn't look her direction anymore.

Victoria felt something in her snap. "I'm not fucking whimpering, you arrogant asshole," she hissed through her teeth. A part of her wanted so much to punch something. Or shake him until he saw sense.

She took his handkerchief, wanting so much to destroy it out of spite. Of course, it had his monogrammed initials. Arrogant asshole. She tried to stop the tears, cursing them. As much as she cherished her emotions, in comparison to Alec's lack there of, they'd betrayed her.

"You're so high and mighty that you can't even see the woman who would do anything to make you happy. Who would gladly spend the rest of her life making up for on damned mistake." Her voice trailed off. She didn't even know why she tried anymore. She'd fucked up...again. Tess had told her just what to do, and she couldn't even do that right. Follow simple orders.

Closing her eyes, she pressed her forehead against the cool glass. "I don't know the women you're thinking of, but I'd gladly cry every day than spend one second without emotions."

Alec felt something in him snap and threw the book against the wall, glaring at her and her fucking tears.

"Can you stop fucking ranting?! I'm sick of you calling me emotionless. Why? Because I'm not sobbing a fucking river like you?! I'm sick of your apologizing, I'm sick of you telling me of a future that YOU fucked up not me. I'm sick of your mind games. You want me to be heartless?! If I was heartless I would have kicked your ass out of this fucking compartment and yell to everyone how you fucked up. But I shut up, try to comfort you by having some fucking manners, but you aren't happy."

He ran his fingers through his hair and groaned in frustration.

"What the FUCK do you want from me?"

Victoria flinched as the book hit the wall. Her eyes widened the more Alec yelled. She felt a flush rise up her neck, into her cheeks. She hated being the cause of his anger. But a part of her relaxed, seeing SOMETHING effect him. A chill ran through her veins at the power rolling off of him.

At his last question, she jumped up, surprised that her legs were holding her. "I want you, you stupid man! I want to wake up and forget that day, forget it all, but I can't." She pressed her palms to her eyes, trying to shut out the tears. "I want to stop crying because I know I can't have you. I want to stop dreaming about you. I want to stop hoping for you to forgive me, because no logical person would ever do so."

Her voice was ragged, the pain in her chest almost unbearable. She looked into his eyes, down to his mouth. I want to kiss you.

Alec took a step back and shook his head. Well what wasn't going to happen; he was many things, but he didn't cheat. He never promised commitment to women, they knew that, but with her he promised it and he kept it.

"You're stupid" he said lowering his voice. "Do you think it's easier to forgive you when you're always near me? You make me mad, you make me hurt, looking at you reminds me that you're tainted. Do you understand how annoying that is?! Why can't you just let me cool off! Let me grieve, and for fucks sake shut up about not feeling. You explode with emotions and it's weak, I keep it inside and let it out in PRIVATE, not here, and you for fuck's sake just shut up for once in your fucking life."

He sighed and sat down, feeling exhausted.

Victoria felt like the world had dropped out from under her. Tainted. The word echoed through her head, confirming all of her worst fears. That her one stupid decision would ruin everything. And it had. He would never be able to forgive her. Because she was tainted. Not worth anything.

She flinched away from him as he sat down, not really seeing him. All she could see was that perfect day by the lake. Their first date. Him, sitting by the fire, reading, that last time that he was happy with her. It was all gone, unreachable. For a few minutes, she just stood frozen, barely blinking.

A part of her didn't want to say anything. But she couldn't. Focusing on the door, she spoke barely above a whisper, her voice hollow. "Okay. I won't bother you again." She moved to pick up her bag, not really seeing anything, feeling as if her body was numb and tingling at the same time.

Alec stayed quiet, and he simply gripped his hands together, with his head between his legs trying to get a hold of himself. He was just tired, really tired; he was sick of drinking, sick of feeling the sickening pain, the bile that came with the drinking, and the anger.

He took shallow breaths, trying to stop the ringing in his ears. He didn't want to scream, but being told over and over again that he was heartless just sickened him. And there was only so much a person could take, before they snapped. She had gone quiet, and he hadn't said anything in return.

He ran his fingers through his hair, and wanted all of this to end. He was thinking of quitting, just ending all of this and maybe moving away. He just needed an escape..and a ciggie.