Her hands closed around the hangings of her window as she stared out across the waterfall view from her bedroom, oh how familiar it all was. She watched the water flow over and topple down into the pool below, seeing hints of gold where the fish swam, and perhaps some silver and even rainbow. Though that could just be the sun's reflection. The light that came from the sky slowly disappeared as clouds covered everything above her, but she only watched the water move and swirl. A low rumble sounded above, yet still she didn't move. Her eyes were fixated on that point, as a million memories flashed past her eyes. The owl that always perched on her window during the holidays, bringing letters and mice to proudly display to her. She looked up only as Feathers came fluttering past and perched on the windowsill, hooting and Pyxis. Pyxis ran her fingers over the feathers, remembering the letters. Only ever from the one person. Just him. Just Parker. Her fingers stilled immediately, and sensing her sadness, Feathers hooted again and swept off through the house, returning a moment later with her half-kneazle ball of white fluff, Leilani. Feathers swooped over and perched on her shoulder, whilst Leilani took place at the windowsill and meowed at her

Pyxis let a smile ghost over her features as she knelt down and scratched the top of her cat's head. "Oh, Lani," she whispered to the kneazle, who looked at her with sorrow in it's eyes and a hint of confusion. Pyxis was eternally grateful for her cat's intelligence. "He left me, Lani. Parker. I don't know where he's gone, and," tears slid down Pyxis' face and she sat now, resting her side against the wall. Leilani purred to offer comfort, rubbing her head against Pyxis' as Feathers hooted at her again. "And I don't think he's ever coming back." She sobbed, scooping her cat up into her arms. Feathers fluttered to the windowsill now and stared down at the scene of the broken girl clutching her only companion tightly as she cried with sadness in her wise old eyes. She flew off and returned half an hour later to the same scene, except the sobs had stilled to sniffles. She displayed the mouse with pride to Pyxis, who laughed at her owl in a croaky voice. "Sweety?" Pyxis looked to the doorway where her mother stood, a gentle smile on the woman's face. Pyxis still didn't trust her. "I'm fine, just leave me alone," she said in that defensive tone, her walls drawing up around her. Pyxis' mother looked sad, as she turned and walked away.

"I keep thinking he'll come back to me, Lani," she whispered to her cat. Feathers had flown off somewhere to devour her delicious treat. "I don't even know why. I mean, I think he doesn't really give that much of a shit about me anyway. But then I think about all those years, and sixth year holidays! Merlin, that was the most fun i've ever had and... then, we come back to school and he won't even talk to me and he hits me. Now he's gone, and... it's been almost two years. Why can't I let go?" She whispered. "I wonder if he ever thinks about me..." The cat licked Pyxis' nose, and Pyxis let out another sob. The memories crashed down on her, sitting on her bed and laughing at the letters from Parker, sending them back, growing up steadily year after year and falling more and more in love with him. "I can't take it, I can't live here anymore. Not with her. Not when all I see every time I wake up is Feathers, and I just hope so much there's an owl from him. Why would he just ditch me like that? Is it... is it me? Haley left too. Am I the problem?" She then realised she was talking to her cat and moved Leilani off of her. The half-kneazle looked highly offended and strutted away. Pyxis wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth. God, she couldn't keep feeling so much pain. She couldn't handle it. Her hand moved towards her wand and she lifted it to her temple. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She had to find him. She just had to. But in the mean time, she'd keep studying to be a Potions Mistress. She had an apprenticeship, after all, and... maybe she would learn to move on. Right?

- - Wilson Manor, Summer of Fourth Year - -

Pyxis' wasn't really that upset about her parents divorce if she was being perfectly honest with herself. She honestly didn't care all that much - because she never spoke to either of her parents unless they were ganging up on her. Now, she was actually glad because all they ever did was argue with each other. "I'm fine, Parks, honestly. I don't even care. Hey, if those bullies give you any trouble you WILL tell me, right?" She asked him as they stepped off the Hogwarts express. Her eyes flickered over to her best friend in concern and noticed the way he shifted un-comfortably, but nodded his head anyway. She didn't believe him, so she stopped and grabbed his hand, yanking him to a halt in front of her. He looked at her with slightly raised eyebrows, but not surprise. Pyxis always yanked him around. "Parker," she said slowly. He looked down, but his hand gripped hers a little bit tighter at the ice in her tone. "Don't you dare leave me in the dark. Promise, please? I won't show up, i'd just like to know." She insisted. He seemed to consider it for a moment, before his eyes finally lifted to hers. "Okay, fine, I promise." He said in a voice that still led Pyxis to believe he wouldn't. She let out an irritable sigh and dragged him out of the massive crowd that had formed around the Hogwarts express. Their trunks trundled along behind them, and she finally came to a stop at the barrier.

After he'd gone through, she followed suit and looked around at all of the people here and there. She bit her lip when she didn't see either of her parents and looked sideways at Parker. "Taxi again?" She asked him. He shrugged his shoulders. Not in a talkative mood today, huh? She thought to herself with a roll of her eyes that he didn't notice. Suddenly, a hand landed on her shoulder and she jumped, twirling on the spot to stare at her attacker. Who turned out to be her father. He looked stiff, prim and proper, almost Malfoy-like with his silvery blonde locks and his cane. She raised both eyebrows and coughed. "Whose that?" Her father demanded rudely. Not even a greeting, she almost growled at him. "My friend," she snapped back. Her father's lip curled, and he looked at her in a superior how-dare-you-speak-to-me-like-that way. Never in all the years her parents had ganged up on her had they ever looked at her in such a murderous way. She shrunk back and instinctively stepped closer to Parker in a protective way. "Ah. What is his blood status?" He asked. Pyxis' jaw clenched and she frowned at him. "He's muggle-born, and don't you dare start because you have no right to tell me who and who not to be friends with! You haven't been there for me for the past how many years, so you don't have the right to interfere with my life!" She hissed. Her father looked absolutely out-raged. "We'll discuss when we get home," he said coldly, and gave Parker a venomous glare. "Nice to meet you, Parker," he said in a tone that clearly stated otherwise. Pyxis turned away from her father and fully intended to just ignore him until someone came for Parker. "So your mum didn't say she was going to pick you up or anything?" She asked Parker. He opened his mouth to answer her, but her father cut across him.

"Pyxis, let's go." He demanded. Pyxis looked up at her father and frowned. "I always wait with Parker," she argued. Parker looked un-comfortable and decided to pipe up then, "that's okay Pyxis-" he started, but Pyxis silenced him with a 'dont you dare' look. He frowned back at her. "See, the boys fine with it now let's go," he grabbed Pyxis' arm, fingernails digging in and making her wince, but she didn't make a sound. "But Parker-" she began. Her father grabbed her trunk and yanked her along behind him, despite her protest. "Get off me! Get off!" She growled, slapping his hand off of her. He let go and stormed along, Pyxis trailing behind. When she looked over her shoulder, she couldn't see Parker through the crowd. She felt her eyes water as she trailed after her father. It was a few hours later that Pyxis could be found on her bed, stroking Leilani as she waited for Feathers to return with a letter from Parker. She'd asked him if he'd gotten home okay, and basically included nothing else. She wiped her eyes and winced as her hand brushed against the bruise on her face from the slap she had received. Her father had administrated it the moment the door shut behind them for her atrocious behaviour. The door suddenly banged open and her father's sneering face could be seen as he stepped into her room. Pyxis let her eyes drop down to her hand, before she felt his hand collide with the back of her head. "Ow!" She exclaimed. "Stop sitting up here feeling sorry for yourself, grow up, Pyxis," he growled. Pyxis sat up and wiped at her eyes furiously as more tears fell. "Maybe if you were a better father i'd-" she didn't get to finish her angry outburst, as her father's hand smashed into the side of her face. The force pushed her back against the wall and she gripped her head as sobs wracked her body.

"How dare you speak to me like that?" He asked in out-rage. Pyxis curled up into a ball, tucking her head away defensively. Her father grabbed her and pulled her up by the hair, throwing her onto the ground. He kicked her in the stomach and she wheezed. "Stop it! Stop!" She exclaimed, sobbing. She heard a hoot and looked up at her owl fluttered in. She watched as her father crossed over to where Feathers was and yanked the letter off of it's leg. His eyes scanned over it and he laughed coldly. "Oh how sweet," he scrunched the letter up and tossed it onto her bed. "Don't mention this to your little friend, or he might have an un-fortunate accident," Pyxis nodded her head at her father's words and watched as he retreated, before her head fell to the floor once more and she sobbed. Oh, Parker, how she wished he could be here right now. She felt something warm and soft against her and looked down as Leilani curled up beside her and rubbed against her, looking upset as she let out a soft meow. Pyxis gathered her kitten into her arms and sniffled again.

Pyxis laid on the floor, eyes squeezed shut tightly as she tried to picture happy thoughts, think of her happy place. Happy. That was something she hadn't been in a long time. She knew Parker was worried about her by his persistent owls. None of which she'd owled back to. In over a month. She didn't have the energy to tell him she was okay, nothing was wrong, she'd just been a little busy with her 'friends' was all. Yeah right, like Pyxis had fucking friends. She could remember days when she had muggle friends. They'd ditched her though. On her birthday. And then not spoken to her for four years. She didn't care, she told herself that she didn't are about any of them, they could all go die in a fucking hole for all she cared! She heard a horrible, crunching sound and it took several seconds before her tired nerves sent the message of pain to her brain. She groaned, too tired to scream even. Her throat hurt to much, and her cheeks felt permanently wet.

She couldn't be bothered opening her eyes to see the damage, she could feel it. Several broken ribs, how fun for her. They'd go nicely with her broken arm now wouldn't they? She curled in on herself without even thinking about it, an action that - surprise fucking surprise - didn't go down all too well with her loving father. She ground her teeth together as she felt his foot kick at her hands over and over, though the reaction was very delayed. Finally, her hands flew away to allow him to kick her in the ribs again. "They're already broken!" She sobbed. So weak, so pathetic. She knew she was. She didn't have it in her to care, she just had to get through this and then she could go cry to her cat. Her father's boot finally crushed against her face, and she was relieved. He would always kick her in the face to end the lesson. She clutched at her stinging cheek, fingers brushing over the lump that formed. She waited until she heard the slam of a door, and slowly she drew herself up into a sitting position, her eyes fluttering open. The dungeon was so dark.

She forced herself onto shaky legs, only to have them crumble under her. "Miffy," she whispered, and their house elf popped into the dungeon. She looked distressed as she grabbed Pyxis' hand and apparated them to her bedroom. Miffy looked eager to heal Pyxis' wounds, but Pyxis swatted her hand away. It would only anger her father further to see that her wounds had been healed. And considering Miffy was the only house elf that ever looked at Pyxis, he would immediately know it was her. She didn't want Miffy to get hurt. Miffy helped her onto the bed and pressed her fingers against Pyxis' ribcage. She felt too weak to resist, and the pain soon left as she heard them crack back into place. "Is mistress' arm getting better? Want Miffy to fix that too?" Miffy asked with big, wide green eyes. "No, Miffy, please go," she sniffled and wiped at her tear stained cheeks. Miffy nodded her head and disappeared with her crack. It was only minutes before a softness against Pyxis' body signalled that Leilani had come to comfort her - again.

Pyxis cried herself to sleep that night, only to be awoken an hour later by a constant tapping against her window. She opened both of her eyes and pushed Leilani off of her, much to the cat's protest. She stood up but quickly fell down once more and had to crawl across the floor with tears of agony pouring down her cheeks. She opened the window and Feathers flew in, landing on the end of her bed with a concerned hoot. "Shut up!" Pyxis hissed, holding a shaking arm out. Feathers ignored this and landed on Pyxis' shoulder. Pyxis un-attached the letter and saw Parker's familiar scrawl almost immediately, him sounding even more fretful then in the last few letters. She flipped the page over and held out her hand, Feathers knowing immediately what she wanted. She returned with Pyxis' quill. Pyxis only had the energy to scribble two words, and had to fight hard to keep the tears from spilling onto the parchment. 'Im fine.' She wrote, tying the letter to Feathers leg and watching as the owl swooped away.

Too exhausted to crawl back to her bed, Pyxis curled up on the floor and slept there. The next day when she awoke, her legs were feeling better and she was able to walk around, though only with the aid of walls and over objects. She'd often have to sit down and take a break, but she knew her father had work for the whole day and she'd make sure to be asleep by the time he came home. She mostly stayed in her room though and practiced walking around. "Fuck," she cried out as her legs failed halfway across the room and she collided with the floor. Tears poured down her cheeks un-controllably and she curled up into a ball, ignoring the pain in her broken arm. Well - it was more her wrist. She winced again as her head began to throb. "Feathers," she greeted the owl as it landed in front of her with another concerned hoot. She rolled her eyes and reached out a hand, taking the letter. It was just another fucking message from Parker about how he didn't believe her and she better tell him what was wrong. She groaned and didn't write anything back for about an hour as she let the pain eb away.

She sat down at her desk and dipped her quill into ink, un-rolling a fresh piece of parchment and leaning back so she couldn't sob all over the fucking parchment.

Parker,

I'm honest to Merlin fine. Just leave me alone, alright? I'm not hiding anything from you! Besides, you're the one who hides things, remember? What about those boys on your street, you keep saying they aren't bothering you anymore, but are you telling me the truth? Honestly, I don't even know if I can believe you anymore. I just want you to be honest with me, I want to help you. You're pretty much my only friend, so I don't want to loose you to some assholes.

Stay safe,
Pyx.

It took her almost an hour to get that out, and it made her bruised arm hurt so much she wanted to chop it off. She sent the letter off to Parker and heard her bedroom door creak open. Panicked, she looked outside and then at her clock, realising that she'd left it to late. She felt a horrible pain in her head, and then everything went black.