Tess grinned back as he relaxed. She didn't bite, at least she hoped she didn't but she was glad he was comfortable. It was nice to know that he could lighten up a bit, even if only for a few minutes. Under all those layers of seriousness, she wondered who he was.

"You know that if you can't forgive yourself, then you can't move on and enjoy the rest of your life right?"

Perhaps it was her age, at twenty one, well she was one person to try and seize the days as they came. Never really wanting to grow up too fast, nor stay behind because appropriate. Still, at him talking, she smiled brightly so happy that he was actually saying things to her. She stayed quiet letting him talk, and at the mention of his age she was surprised, the age gap was bigger than she imagined and snorted.

"You're ancient" she replied grinning.

She lowered her gaze and lifted it with a soft smile.

"Six year sounds great" she said softly. "You should smile like that more often Emery, it's nicer than the stoicism you carry yourself in"

Parker nodded slowly in response to her question. "Yeah, I do. I've thought about that and solutions to it for years. Just not that easy, especially with coming back here." When he'd been at Mungo's he at least felt like he could move on, even if the thoughts and memories were just in the back of his head. He had accepted not ever seeing his friends again and how he'd hurt them by disappearing, but coming back to Hogwarts had pushed those memories to the front of his thoughts and forced him to confront all the problems he'd previously run away from.

Parker wished he'd not been forced to grow up so fast. Wish he got the chance to actually have fun like all other kids. He took comfort in her silence, knowing she was listening close to every word, taking in what she could because his opening up like this was a new thing.

He smiled again when she laughed. "Yeah, I know, right? No clue where the time went..."

He shrugged slightly, "Well. it was only a short time, but I'll never forget it. I'd never want to." He leaned his elbows on the table, taking his glass and finally taking a large swig of it before setting it back down and wiping his mouth.

Tess nodded, she understood somewhat. If she was around Hogwarts she couldn't help but go down the halls and remember things that had occurred. Whether it be where she met Victoria, or when she had her first crush, to when she flied for the first time. Nostalgia surrounded Parker at every corner, that must be hard.

She tilted her head and her smile dimmed a bit. She wondered just what memories he was being haunted with, and if the people played any part in it. She remembered how broken he looked seeing Pyxis and Anne and how alone he looked.

"You're a grandfather" she teased. "Seriously though, one day Parker Emery I'm going to make you have fun."

Things had been hard. More than hard at times. Walking down to meals would give him flashback-like memories, or he'd be caught at random points in the day with them. Not all the memories were bad, but he just didn't like the overall feeling he got from the memories. It was so lonely. Even when with his friends, he supposed he was lonely...he just always managed to find a way to see something negatively or point out something that made him different and feel so isolated.

He took another drink of the butterbeer, but then pushed it aside again. It didn't look like he liked it very much. He smiled a little when Tess said that she was going to get him to have some fun. "Well, good luck with that. I've been bust and haven't had time for anything...I suppose your schedule is the same. Thank you, though,. For making the time to meet me. I think it was just what I needed." he said honestly. There was a lot of times in the past that he didn't know where he'd be without her. He couldn't thank her enough for all the things she'd done for him.

Tess wondered briefly just how broken he was. He seemed so complicated, so many layers, that were never peeled back. And she was a curious person, someone wanting to see just was under those layers. She knew that behind all of that was a person that needed to enjoy his youth. But at him mentioning his thanks, for her meeting him she shook her head and grinned.

"Come on Emery, I wouldn't miss this for the world. We're friends remember, and even if we're starting all over, I'll always be available when needed" she said smiling.

She had often seen him as the older brother, a replacement for Alec who never managed to get why she was so involved in her job and why her passion seemed so frivolous. Parker got it, because he had a passion similar to it, except for ER and working on making the lives of individuals much easier. She was glad that he managed to find some time for her, even if it was for a second. And she would make him have fun, she was going to make sure of it, even if she had to kidnap him to do it.

Parker's smile widened a bit when she grinned at him, telling him she was his friend. "Well, still, thank you. I don't have many, so...it means a lot." he said softly.

He hadn't meant for this outing be so serious, but it definitely made him feel better now. She had been the closest thing to a sister to him throughout their training together. She had always been there and looks out for him, despite her being the younger and having her own things to deal with, with her family not being so supportive of her career choice. He couldn't thank her enough for all she'd done for him. Talking to her now reminded him just how much he really missed her.

He looked down and traced his fingers over the grooves on the table. "Uhm..but anyway..moving on from the subject of work, how've you been in general? It's been so long since we've talked." Well, it was more of him listening while she went on about things, but maybe this time could be different.

Tess blushed at his comment and smiled. Parker was a good friend, and she knew that he didn't have a lot of friends, but each one he had cared about him more than he realized. She grinned brightly and took it to heart, if he opened up, even a bit and complimented her by calling her his friend, well that was more than she hoped for.

At the mention of him asking her personal life, she raised her brow but looked down at her drink and let out a half-grin. What was different with her personal life? Merlin, did she even have a personal life?

"Well I'm married to my job" she said smirking. "But things aren't rainbows and unicorns."

She couldn't really look up, her job was what her life centered around. And the fact she had some issues there, it was embarrassing to tell him. Ever since she started medical school and being a Healer there were rumors flying and three years later it hadn't really changed.

"You know I've been never liked...ever." she chuckled bitterly. "And even now it's no different. But you know" she tilted her head. "I'm working on it, pretending I don't hear things, the rumors the looks."

She shook her head and gave a tight smile.

"But that's life right right? It's never perfect, but how are you?" she said trying to change the subject.

His head was still lowered, but he he moved his eyes to look at Tess as she lowered her own head. He moved his eyes back to the table and his hands. Had he hit a hard question for her? Well, in the past he never really asked, he just let her open up about whatever it was she needed to talk about... So maybe being asked about it was just touchy. It certainly had always been that way for him.

He nodded when she said she was married to her job, as he expected her to say. She'd always been so dedicated so it was deflating to hear her say that things were not great in that area. When the hospital was the center of their every day and their social lives, if things weren't going smoothly there, nothing was going smoothly. She had seemed to be able to hold her own while he had trained with her, not letting any of the rumors get to her. Healers were as awful as teenagers with the way they pined after the latest gossip or drama. Some even cracked and left to do something else because they couldn't handle it.

When she chuckled, he rose his head to look at her, a small frown on his face. "I know what you mean... but you can get through it. I know you can. You're better than whatever those asses say anyway... and you helped me deal with it. Remember that group of guys I'd always make bets with? By the end of my time at the hospital they hardly messed with me at all. Thanks to you." he said, with a small, fond smile.

When the question was returned, he let out a deep sigh and wasn't able to meet her eyes. "Things have just ...been tough like I said. I'll be fine though, I just need to sort it all out in my head, you know?"

Tess smiled at Parker's comments. It was nice to hear something that didn't involve violence. When she had told Victoria about her predicament she had nearly gone on a rampage. To be fair she shouldn't have just let her drink too many glasses of firewhiskey but that was her fault she supposed. But Parker was calmer about it, and she appreciated him comforting her in his own way.

She lowered her gaze embarrassed. She never knew that he knew, after all she'd tell those guys comments from their wives to their mothers as long as they left the pair alone. She controlled herself around Parker so he could defend himself.

"Never knew you were aware what I was doing" she chuckled.

She trailed her nail lightly over the rim of the cup she no longer felt like drinking and sighed. She knew that she shouldn't have listened, but it was easier said then done, especially since it was her own boss who they were connecting her with. She had only met him once, and he had informed her that he heard of those rumors, she was never so mortified.

"You're right...it's just harder when you walk those halls alone, and forced to act professional. It's just that it's so tempting to just punch someone if they insinuated something, and you know me and my temper." she sighed.

Tess tilted her head as his gaze dropped from her face. He was always so closed off from her, even if he opened for a bit, he'd close off and pretend he was fine.

"Look at me Parker Emery" she said firmly.

It was unlike her, but she wouldn't just let him close up. They were starting anew, and that meant that she was going to try to get him to vent. Her eyes softened and placed her hand lightly on his trying to comfort him. Ever since the time she saw him so hurt and vulnerable, she had worried him.

"What's tough? You know I'm always here to listen...you don't need to close up around me. I'm your friend"

She smiled encouragingly. And while he wouldn't open up now, she'd help him just try to be a bit happier and to look healthier too. He looked so tired.

Parker smiled when she chuckled again. "Well...those guys had plenty to say when you weren't around. Plus, I'm not that oblivious. Give me some credit." he said light-heartedly, knowing that getting all serious about the topic was not what either of them needed. He wasn't even sure if she knew why he put up with that group...she certainly made no implications that she did.

"Yeah...it is." He said, remembering those few years he had been totally alone in that place. He knew how hard it was to hold up against negativity and pressure like that alone. It was nearly impossible. Well, it had been for him...he hoped it wasn't for her. She didn't do anything to deserve it.

"Trust me, even without a temper it's extremely tempting." he said. Well, it wasn't as if he didn't have one. Anyone who knew him in 6th or 7th year could testify to that. He had just gotten his handle back on it when he started to working and being able to displace that anger in other ways. She had, as far as he knew, never known Parker to have an angry bone in his body.

Parker swallowed, his throat dry, when she firmly told him to look at her. He seemed to hesitate for far too long a moment before he did so, leaning back against the seat and crossing his arms protectively. "I'm sorry." He said, trying to keep his voice from sounding so weak.

"I...I know." He sighed. "But- I don't know- urg." he groaned and shook his head slightly, moving one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He went silent for a long time, trying to gather himself before speaking again. His words flowed out slow and steady as if each one took a considerable effort to get out."It's just... I thought I was ready to come back and work at Hogwarts. I didn't expect to see so many people that I used to know here though. I disappeared from them for a reason, and seeing them again make me feel like I...betrayed them."

Tess wrinkled her nose at the idea of those ignorant bastards talking about her. She always hated those bastards, always nitpicking everything that they did, judging Parker and his clothing, his mood, anything they could pick on. She had happened to be one of the reasons he was picked on, so she would snap back, showing that if they wanted to be tossers, they'd be treated as such.

For her, control was necessary, or else her magic would spur. She had chosen the profession because of it's need for precision and steadiness. She couldn't let that anger out, and talking to someone who, in her opinion was the master of controlling emotions, and knew that he understood her need for control, whether or not he knew of her deficiency.

She felt bad for pushing him, but tough love worked on his best. He couldn't keep everything in, it would break, and it wouldn't be just a few things that would come out, but whatever he was keeping in. From the expression on his face it was more than a little while. She pulled her hand back noticing his defensive stand. She needed to tread lightly.

"Hogwarts seems to be more toxic that nostalgic in your life" she commented frowning. "Disappearing, if in your eyes was necessary, then I can't see why you think it's betrayal. You're not the kind to do that, to betray,...have you ever thought that you might need a break?"

She wasn't ever going to understand completely, but as a person not involved in the issue, not part of the real pain he dealt with, could offer advice if he ever needed it.

Despite all the trouble they gave him, the crap they got from Tess, and how much he really wanted nothing to do with those guys, they had been vital to his survival. Like a pathetic scavenger he'd be crawling back to them for their amusement to get some extra cash or free meals for the week by taking up their bets or their extra shifts. The embarrassment and rumors that circulated around to other people hardly seemed worth it, and it was made less worth it after Tess came along. But he just couldn't stop. He didn't want to get any shit from them. Or..well, more.

He was able to lock it in, keep his calm, take it all with a straight face as he had since childhood. His picking up and practicing meditation was probably the best decision he ever made..though since he started working at Hogwarts he hadn't been able to put as much time into it. Which was probably why he felt like everything was falling apart. Or maybe he just couldn't keep anymore in... But he didn't want to have some sort of outburst. He has had plenty 7th year to last a lifetime...and being the victim of several other people's outburst he didn't want anyone to be subject to his. Everything seemed easier to keep in.

He barely nodded when she said it seemed more toxic to him. "I just...never fit in." He sighed, feeling more uncomfortable about actually talking and letting things out. "No- I...I don't know how to explain it. It's stupid though." When she suggested he needed a break, Parker immediately shook his head, seeming more sure. "No. I'm already doing so much less than I am used to. It's kind of driving me mad to be honest."

He leaned forward again, resting his elbows on the table, feeling frustrated with himself. When he actually thought about it he realized how stupid he was being. He did this to himself...he should be able to get himself out of it. Just having one person who understood he imagined would help, so why could he not bring himself to open up as readily as so many others did? Tess said she was here for him, but he felt like he was being such a burden already. "I'm sorry....can we just- I don't know, talk about something else?"

Tess placed her hands on her lap and felt guilty. Honestly, she never meant to push him this far, but as she had, and now he looked a bit broken. She had thought that from what he had said before that Hogwarts was a good experience for him, giving him the perfect home he lacked in his life. She'd realized this once she had mentioned how it was a haven for her; she wasn't oblivious, his response to her was to agree and opened up a bit about how he felt about it.

But how could a place like that, bring him that pain? She never really understood that, but perhaps it was the fact that she was oblivious or naive. His obvious distraught nature showed her that it wasn't pleasant, especially as he groaned and leaned on the table. She felt bad about him not fitting in, she knew how that was. She was always quiet herself always being around Victoria because she never really fit in with people, especially because she was quiet and shy.

"I meant to walk away from Hogwarts for a bit, to get your mind off of all of this. It's haunting you and you're sad..."

She knew she needed to drop it and nodded. He was already opening up for more than he ever did the two years they knew each other before. It was enough, and she was thankful he was even trying, but the stress was getting to him.

"Back to my conversation of fun" she said trying to be carefree, as her usual self. " what is fun to you? Now at your old age"

He knew it didn't make sense...for Hogwarts to have been both a good and bad place for him. It was an escape in someways but hell in others...the lesser of evils he could say. It wasn't as bad to get the abuse from strangers he supposed. And there was more time he could just spend alone...and at least he didn't get into trouble. God knows where'd be if he had been a regular kid living in his area. A much different person he would bet.

The torn feelings he felt were always so frustrating. He wanted to remember Hogwarts for all it's good times...he needed to stop those memories from fading. He couldn't keep going like this, living off all this negativity. It wasn't much of a life to be honest.

He nodded slightly at her suggestion. He had tried that in the beginning. Before school started, right after he had met everyone again. Slept in some dingy hotel and went back to his childhood home. It was a bit of a relief to know she was still alive...he'd not seen her since the end of summer sixth year. He would have hated if that was the last time he'd seen her. Though it wasn't really a chance to relax..."I guess your right. I've no where to go though."

He sighed, trying to let go of the negative ball that was forming more in his chest, trying to lighten up. "Uhm...you know, I'm not too sure anymore. I'm still working with those potions...keeps my mind off things."

Tess frowned and tilted her head wondering how it'd be like. Saying that he had no where to go immediately made her think of family. Parker never spoke about family, never, she wouldn't know if he was an only child or a child of seven. His personal life was always hidden, but his comment did shock her. It hurt her to think that he couldn't turn to his family, not that she could either, but did he have anyone, a place to just be Parker?


"Hey, you can stay in my room in St. Mungos" she teased hoping to lighten up the conversation a bit. "I would invite you to my flat but you seem like the messy kind of person"

She knew that if she offered her place it'd be rejected immediately. She might not know everything about him, but she did know a few things. For one thing he hated help, not because he wasn't appreciative, but because he hated to be weak. He hated to be vulnerable and actually rarely voiced if he needed help. That's why it had surprised her that he even managed to ask for help that night.

"Potions?!" she said wrinkling her nose. "Potions means fun in your little head?! Merlin you sound like an old man! Do you play Quidditch? Go to games? Hell do you play sports, exercise to let off steam?"

At her light-hearted offer, Parker let out a small laugh and shook his head. "Much appreciated, but no thank you. You are right about that though, even though I hardly have anything to be messy with, I manage it."

As well intentioned as the offer was he couldn't ever bring himself top take it. He didn't want to be a burden. And he'd made it this far already...though with the way things have been going he didn't know how much longer he could keep going. He didn't exactly have nowhere to go. Just nowhere relaxing or that felt safe even. There was his apartment...but that had been found by the dark ones so next time he did go back he was probably going to make his last payment and be out. There was his childhood home but he'd only been there once since school and with his mother old and half crazed that wouldn't ever feel safe.

He smiled at her satisfaction of his like of potions. "It's a hobby, what can I say? I could talk about potions and medicines all day if I could. The reason I became a healer was because I thought that healing and potions were so much fun."

"No, no, flying scares the hell out of me-" he said with a sigh and a shake of his head. "I went to go see a couple of the games I guess...? I figured I'd get to see a lot more when I became an on field healer for the professionals. That's what I've been planning to do. But, no, I didn't even take the flying class first year- just ran right off the field before the professor even came out." he said with a fond smile, although the experience itself he remembered being quite frightening.

Tess grinned at his comment. She knew that he wouldn't accept it, but it was still a try. And while the suggestion was light hearted, she did mean it in a way. It was sad to see that he didn't have a haven, her haven was work. Work was away from everyone, and in that session, whether it be a surgery or helping give birth, that was her safe place.

'At least you tried' she thought.

"Hey you can take my shift at Mungos anytime" she commented.

At the mention of his love of potions she simply laughed softly. Her tone was meant to be sarcastic, but it went over his head, and she shook her head amused. She supposed that her soft spot for potions had softened her sarcasm. She was a nerd at heart and potions used to be her favorite class.

"You know, you should work with the chemist at Mungo's trying to make cures for diseases. I know that while you like working with students at Hogwarts, and teaching, not to mention healing there, but I know that you'd be an asset there."

It was true, they were trying to find cures for diseases that harmed a lot of witches and wizards like dragonpox, spattergroit (there needs to be a better cure), or scrofungulus."

Her suggestions died at her throat as she bit her lip trying not to laugh at his comment. For her flying was freedom, flying and controlling something that made you be surrounded by nothing but sky. She had taken up Quidditch naturally, and had been a seeker.

"I suppose flying isn't for everyone is it?" she giggled. "I need to take you out, to a pub or..a game or something. And be your mate! I'll even wear a jumper and lower my voice if need be" She replied smirking.

Parker smiled a little at her offer. "I might like that actually, help out a bit there...it'd be getting away from here that's for sure." He said with a soft shrug. He did seem to be get away from all the things plaguing his mind when he was more actively healing and a part of emergencies, when he really had to focus. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted then. Maybe that's just what he needed to get him out of the pit he felt he was in.

"I've been trying to do my own independent thing with that actually." He said, looking up at her. "I had talked with those guys a couple of times though my being at Mungo's and it seemed pretty cool. Definitely one of my top specialization choices...it's just, you know, they only are allowed to do certain things and help certain people." He sighed. "Digging a little deeper, I found some of the procedures were not that I'd like to do. With others at least."

Parker tried to hold back a smile as she tried to hold back a laugh. While it wasn't the most pleasant of memories, he did have to admit it was quite ridiculous. And although there was a part of him that held quidditch players and fliers in high regard, he didn't trust himself enough to be able to do it himself. "What I find sort of funny is that I want to be one of those on-field healers...at least then I can get into all the good games, travel all over, get to know the players.. It'd be amazing. And once I finish these two years, I've got a guaranteed spot as the head healer of the team." As he spoke, his hand trailed over his glass, his eyes following. He wasn't sure what anyone would really think of his full plans, he never really brought them up entirely. He knew Tess would be one of the people that would tell him to go for it, but more and more he'd been finding himself at a crossroads to stay or not.

Parker let out a laugh at her suggestion. "Well that would definitely be interesting. Pubs aren't really my place, but I'm sure we can figure something out." he said with a smile. The idea of just getting out and having a bit of relaxing time was sounding nicer and nicer by the minute.

Tess smiled brightly and knew she'd have to talk to Chale about getting Parker a bit of a place for him to escape. She knew that he liked being alone, and doing his thing that distracted him from whatever he was dealing with. It was sad how much she knew about him because he had closed off, so she was forced to observe him and learn more things.

Though at the mention of his dream her eyes brightened. She herself had a moment when she wanted to be a Quidditch player, the seeker especially because of the acrobatics that came with the position, and the sleuth nature of it all. But him having a dream like that, well it was admirable. To her, he needed to leave Hogwarts, it was weighing on him hard and it was hard to watch.

"I think you should do it" she said immediately. "it's obviously something you've been mulling over, and you should do something for yourself, to give you an escape. I mean travelling and doing the work you were trained to do, is just amazing. You're a great healer as it is and adventure is always good for the soul you know...not to mention you could get oh I don't know your friend here some tickets"

She winked and sipped her drink. He needed to go out, and escape whatever he was dealing with, the toil wasn't normal, nor healthy since he was obviously conflicting him.

"Do it" she said softer. "It's probably best to get away for a bit."

His laughter though, let her get out a wide grin. She liked it when he laughed, it was an accomplishment at least for her. She wanted him to be a bit of fun, to not be such a stick in the mud, and she was determined to do it.

"Well...we have to figure something out. Hell, I'll even get you a corsage and pick you up at your door. I'll drop you off at your door before the curfew too" she teased and stuck her tongue out.