Dorian felt like he'd been wandering Diagon Alley for hours. Most of the time he was lost in thought, trying to figure out what to do about Tess. After a good hour, he'd finally decided to seek her out, if he could only figure out where she'd be. He'd tried the coffee shop already. His second stop was the bookstore.

Entering the store, he sighed. This will be interesting. If he was able to find her in here, at least she would be less likely to yell at him again. He followed the section markers and walked towards the medical section with a smirk. As he turned a corner he pulled back suddenly.

She was more beautiful than he had remembered. Stupid idiot! He knew his mind was romantacising this. He had her nose stuck in a book, leaning on against a shelf. Strands of hair had fallen around to frame her face. That, added to the fact that she was softly biting her lip in concentration, Dorian couldn't take it any longer. He stepped out from around the corner.

Tess was currently enjoying her break from work. She was so grateful that she was given a few hours of a break because of the amount of people at St. Mungos. She had left others in her position and she was currently trying to distract herself from the stress.

The bookstore owner simply smiled when she saw her, knowing how often she'd be in there. She had curled up in the chairs near the medical section and took out her glasses, and slipped them on and reading. It was in this bubble where she was found by Dorian.

She had no idea that she was being looked at, because all that she was concentrating on was the mechanics of a surgery procedure she wanted to read about. She noticed the shadow from the lighting, and she knew someone was there, but she simply ignored it knowing that strangers tended to walk away with whatever they needed.

Dorian smirked at the fact that Tess didn't even look up. She was better off not being an Auror. Things like that could get you killed. Sure, it could be a ploy, but not likely. She couldn't have known he would show up here, hell he hadn't known till just a few minutes ago.

He leaned against the book case, hands in his pockets. From down the aisle he hadn't noticed her glasses. They were quite adorable, but she looked quite natural in them. He clenched his hands, just wanting to touch her. But thoughts of his talk with Alec came back. Insane asylum. Right.

He closed his eyes, seeing Rose's face. Smiling as if she knew what he was doing, and knew why. Fuck it. Keeping his distance, so he didn't startle her, he cleared his throat. "So is that magical? Or more muggle medical tricks?"

Tess was moving her lips softly trying to get the information in her head, she knew she could easily buy the book, but she didn't want to take up even more room in the library. Victoria was starting to think she was a hoarder and she would hate to walk into an intervention. Her lips twitched at the thought.

She was forcing herself not to get annoyed at the fact that she was being stared at. People did that sometimes and then they'd walk away, this wasn't the case she felt the gaze searing and it made her uncomfortable. She shifted around and tried to concentrate. Honestly, who would find her interesting enough to keep looking. But as it didn't stop she sighed and stopped reading.

She was going to ask the stranger if she was bothering them, but as she heard the voice she immediately looked up wide-eyed and her words died at her throat. Was this actually happening of was she having a nightmare. She pinched her arm softly and simply looked at him like a scared doe.

"What are you doing here?" she asked softly not wanting to raise her voice and get kicked out.

It felt like someone had kicked the air out of Dorian's lungs. He'd forgotten how beautiful her eyes really were. When she whispered he felt his knees go weak. I'm a fucking teenage idiot! He felt his hands sweating. He hadn't been this nervous since...

Come to think of it. Dorian didn't think he'd ever been this nervous. He slide down the bookshelf to sit by her chair on the floor, his arms resting on his knees. He really didn't know what he was doing. He just wanted to see her. See if she was mad. Happy. Whatever.

He looked up at her, trying not to show his self conciousness. "I wanted to see you." His eyes drifted to her mouth for what he thought was a split second. Images of her flushed cheeks after their first kiss, both left gasping for breath, filled his mind.

Tess was mad at him finding her; she was using this time to actually get away from it all, and had come to enjoy some alone time. All had been spoiled by his presence; she remembered how she woke up drunk out of her mind, and she was hung over for two days. Victoria was missing, and so she had to nurse it on her own.

She remembered him ruining the date, so she followed his movements, wary about what he was going to do. Why couldn't he leave her alone? Hadn't he done enough? She had called in sick for two days nursing herself off of her hangover and lack of appetite. She was fine now, she was back to doing what she did best: ignoring her feelings and moving on.

His comment surprised her and she blushed lightly, especially as she noticed that he wasn't staring at her eyes. At first she thought he was starting at her chest, it turned out that it was her mouth and she flushed all the more surprised at how he wasn't saying much.

"Why would you want to see me after what happened"

Dorian furrowed his brow. Tess's anger confused him. Sure, she'd been angry during the date, but, if his drunken mind was remembering correctly, they'd moved past that anger. Way past. That could only mean one thing...

Oh, Merlin! She didn't remember. He felt like his heart had jumped up to beat in his throat. Rubbing the back of his neck, he really didn't know what to do. He usually welcomed the amnesia that accompanied heavy drinking. It helped him cope with one night stands. But now? He wished he could make her remember.

But he couldn't make her. Trying not to give away how much he would like to continue their kiss from that night, he looked up at her. "What do you remember about that night?"

Tess noticed his confusion and she glared as he tried to play innocent. Honestly, why wouldn't she be mad? He had ditched her in the restaurant, and was a total arse telling her that she knew nothing about love. He had even asked her out only to try and be her friend, and she wasted her time.

The moment she had woken up she just remembered the yelling, but her body was aching. Her back seemed as if she had been pushed into something and as she looked in the mirror, she had scared herself at her mascara running, her lipstick smudged, and her skirt hiked up a bit, and her blouse out of her skirt. She looked a mess, and her hair was mussed up, she looked like hell.

"More than I'd like" she replied simply. "Why can't you leave me alone, haven't you done enough damage?"

She closed her eyes briefly, and her lips parted a bit remembering a kiss, but she didn't know whether it was a dream or real. She figured it was a dream since she wouldn't have kissed him if she was so mad.

Dorian's face turned blank, unable to process her words. He felt numb and emotionally raw. He wanted to crawl into one of these tucked away book shelves and die right then. He'd been over every detail of that night, many times. Trying to figure out what to do about it. To try to see if she may want more or not.

Only to find out that she didn't remember any of the good parts. Maybe that could be a good thing. Alec had made it pretty clear that he should give up. Maybe that was the best idea. To apologize for the lousy date, walk out of here, and never see her again. He could go back to before, living night by night, case by case. At least that life he knew. Instead of these maddening emotions that he couldn't keep anymore.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He could see her vividly, after she took him home and caressed his cheek. From then until when Alec arrived, he'd been in a drunken stupor. Because of her. Because of what she brought out in him. He couldn't give it up, he had to try. But how?

A thought came to him. "Are you any good with Occlumency?" With any luck, she might be able to use that to remember. Instead of him having to rehash it all and not be believed.

Tess raised her brow and looked at him warily. What was he talking about? How was this relevant? She closed the book she was paying attention to before he entered and leaned forward, eyes curious. She knew that it'd be easier if she didn't do anything and just walk away from this whole mess, but there she was, leaning forward.

"What did I forget?" she asked curiously.

She was still mad, but she was curious, and that would usually be her downfall. She wondered if he wanted to push through and remind her, or if he wanted her to do it to him and see what he saw.

"I am" she replied.

She had used it often times through her training in Hogwarts and in St. Mungos to deal with trauma patients. And now it seemed to be useful here.

Dorian shook his head. That was the wrong term. "I...I meant Legilimens." He didn't want to push anything at Tess, that could only make it worse. He knew that some people could fabricate memories. Hell, he and Alec had been trained to do so. So, he knew it was less believeable if he asked her to let him in.

He breathed a sigh of defeat. This was his last resort. He never let anyone into his head, even Alec. He'd been lucky to master Occlumency before he had secrets worth keeping. It was how he'd kept Rose a secret all this time. Never slipping. Never giving anything away.

"I need you to see it yourself. Just...I..." He had to swallow around the lump in his throat. Fuck, this was hard. He looked up into her eyes, hoping she understood what he was offereing. "Be careful." He laid his head back against the bookshelf and closed his eyes, ready as he'd ever be.

Tess was surprised by the amount of trust he was giving her. Didn't he know that she was nearly a teacher because of her talents of Occlumency. She wasn't as good as Alec, who was gifted at it naturally, but she was getting used to it and could push through walls if needed be.

She didn't whip out her wand, instead she used the method she was working on. She closed her eyes and leaned forward to get closer to him and be able to reach him. She then pressed her index finger to his forehead.

"Legimins" she whispered.

Her eyes immediately opened and were glowing as it was all replaying in her head. She saw the apparation to her flat occur, then him confessing to her about his dead fiancee, then his tears. Her own tears then soon came, in the memory and in the present. Her cheeks turned pink at the snog they had, it explained her state not to mention her back pain. Their goodbyes were bitter sweet, and soon she pulled back with a soft gasp. She had felt the waves of emotions coming from him and curled away from him once she was back to normal.

Her head was spinning and she clutching the book tightly, as she waited for the memories to stop. She dropped the book on the floor ignoring the echo throughout the area and wiped her tears. Her gaze was dropped immediately as she tried to compose herself.

Dorian gasped as the memories flashed before his eyes. It was so much more than his normal memories. These were much more vivid, pulled right from his mind. Seeing it all play again, he went through the emotions all over again. He could almost feel her pressing up against him like before and sucked in a breath, trying not to react.

As she pulled out of his mind, he felt a single tear fall down his cheek, but he didn't care. He tried to calm his rapid breathing. It was a strange feeling, opening up like that. He hadn't done it since second year in school, when he'd finally learned to block people out. Ever since then, his mind had been completely his own.

His heart wrenched even more as she pulled away. Was he really so unloveable that after witnessing his darkest secrets a second time she still rejected him. I really must be a masocist. He moved over to her slowly, not wanting to startle her, thankful that they were in an upper level aisle, far in the back of the store where no one would come. Gently, he lifter her chin to meet his gaze, moving his hand to help wipe away her tears.

"I know I'm not worth shit, but...no one should have to lose memories." He tried to memorize her face, if it was the last time he was going to be this close.

Tess was shifting from one emotion to the next trying to figure out which one was the most current. She took in a shaky breath trying to stop the feelings that came from that night, it was too intense. Her drunken stupor that night had lessened the pain, because despite the fact she wasn't in the clearest mind set she did control herself as much as she could.

She knew that if it was anyone else, she would have pushed away. But at the moment she was trying to get back to not feeling something too extreme. She was shaking and she needed to get a hold of herself. He touched her and lifted her gaze, distracting her from her thoughts for a second.

Her eyes fluttered opened and she looked at him confused and hurt. Hurt for him, having to deal with everything, and her guilt at pushing him to that degree. She let him touch her softly, not pushed him away because it was a sort of healing for the pair. Her anger had dissipated, that was clear, but what she was feeling now she couldn't really pinpoint.

"Don't say that..."she whispered and placed a hand over his lightly."You're worth a lot."

Dorian couldn't seem to pin down what emotion he was seeing on Tess's face. He let a part of himself relax at the fact that anger wasn't among them. She may not like him, or ever want to see him after today, but at least she wouldn't hate him.

When she placed her hand over his, it felt like his hand was tingling. Her skin was softer than he remembered. After her comment, he didn't know what to say. His thumb idly moved over her cheekbone, and he couldn't help but gently trace her lower lip. She was being too nice. Maybe because she pitied him, or because he was Alec's best friend, but either way, he appreciated it.

"Thanks, but I'm really not. I'm broken, Tess." She knew that when she was blind drunk, she had to know it now. "Hell, I've been a drunken mess for the better part of the last week." He knew he was stepping over the line, telling her too much. But he didn't want to hold back anymore. He didn't want to lie, or pretend.

Tess was surprised at how intimate he was being with his touches. She knew that this was wrong, she should be pushing him away, telling him to get better and forget her, because she wasn't what he wanted. He needed to heal, find a woman who actually knew what she wanted in life, unlike her who still searched.

Her lips parted as he caressed her bottom lip and she flushed lightly not used to the contact. It'd been a while, since someone actually looked at her. She wondered why she was letting herself be vulnerable to him, letting him do as he pleased as she simply sat there looking at him confused.

Her eyes softened and she immediately knew it was her fault. She knew he was broken that was apparent but she wasn't helping him at all. She lifted her hands and grabbed his jacket to pull him onto the chair. She moved to the side to not push the two of them in an uncomfortable position, but she didn't like staring up at a person in such a vulnerable time.

She slid her hands up to his face and made him look directly into her eyes. Lust or not, she was not going to let him be like this. He was broken, too broken for her to mend completely, too broken for her to even open her heart to.

"I'll try to fix you" she whispered softly. "in any way I can. You'll feel again alright?"

She was oblivious to him even feelings things for her, other than guilt. Sliding one hand down his chest, she placed it over his heart and let out a shy smile.

Dorian moved slowly onto the couch. He wasn't sure what Tess was doing, how she would react to him opening up. Hell, Alec had been awkward enough to tell things to. But when she made him look at her, he saw resolve. What? He was confused.

His confusion only continued at her comment. How could she possibly think he could be fixed! He didn't even know how to go about doing it himself. He'd just lived the last three years, burying everything and losing himself in physical persuits.

He smiled softly when she said he'd feel again. If she only knew how much he was feeling right now, she'd probably run screaming for the hills. Her hand over his heart made his own itch to pull her to him and snog her for all she was worth. He placed his own hand over hers, lacing his fingers in between.

He looked up at her with a sad smile. "How? I wouldn't even know how to do that. Or I would have tried before now." Maybe it was just having someone else with him that wanted to help. Maybe....maybe she was the key.

Tess looked at their hands intertwined and lifted her gaze slowly up to his. If she hadn't know how broken he was, she would have gladly tried to put him into her life, and move him immediately into her heart. He was handsome, smart, successful, and they had chemistry, that much was clear as she felt her heart beat faster.

If she was willing to throw away the world, for just one moment, she'd be giving her heart to him and love him for all it was worth. But she couldn't, life wasn't about taking what you wanted. She lusted after him, that's what she told herself, but she had some feelings there were deeper than lust, she knew that but it wasn't worth her heartache. When she loved, she loved the whole person, flaws and all to fill the whole room with just everything she could. But that was her destruction, she would be broken; always broken and she'd pick up her things, and walk out healing herself and jumping again.

She wanted to be loved with equal fervor, and he couldn't do that, he was broken. You can't love a broken person because they need to heal before that could ever happen at least in her eyes. She wanted to hold him, caress him, show him that love existed, but it was wrong, so wrong. He couldn't love her like she deserved, and it wasn't his fault, that woman who died destroyed him, and she couldn't be anyone's replacement, she would no longer settle. But he needed to heal, and it was her nature to try and fix everyone.

"You have me" she whispered softly.

Had she allowed herself a moment of weakness she would have emphasized her comment with a kiss, but no, she had to put him in her mind as friend. A friend whom she felt attraction to, and clear chemistry. Instead she leaned towards his chest and kissed his hand lightly before pulling back.

Dorian could see her hesitation. But he tried to cling to the warmth of her hand in his. If that was all he could have of her, then he'd have to learn to live with it. Even though his heart was aching to hold her so much it felt like it was burning under her touch. He'd loved Rose, he knew he did. But she hadn't made him burn like this. Maybe near the end, when he was finally ready to propose, but not anything this quickly.

He froze at her comment, thinking he'd imagined it. He'd never forget his first love, but this? Tess was something else entirely. She was willing to deal with him, broken and all. She'd been a beautiful soul, but not fierce. Not fearless. Not this passionate. When she kissed his hand, it broke his resolve.

He caught her head in his hand, lightly, drawing her face up to his. He didn't want to be too forceful, because he never liked to push something on someone unless they asked. But he needed this. Wanted it. Not giving her much time to think about it, he moved in, crushing his lips against hers. She would most likely hex his ass into next Tuesday for this, but it really wasn't a choice for him anymore. He couldn't hold back.

Tess had many flaws, and one of them was saying things, not always realizing the impact. For her she meant those words, she'd be with him the whole way, be his friend, his rock and make him heal as slow as the process would go. But apparently it had really affected him, because before she knew it, she was pulled into a kiss.

The closeness was clear, the way he grabbed her, he was delicate but determined surprised her. She knew it wasn't healthy, him wanting this from her, her willing to give it despite the fact she'd never be loved the same way. She did not love him, love took time, but she felt something. She kissed him back tentatively not wanting to push him to think she wanted to give him her heart with full force. That frightened her, to easily fall into this once more.

The kiss was natural, second nature already and it was all wrong. Where was her resolve? She didn't know, but all she knew was that he was good at what he did. She hummed softly and pulled back, eyes still closed, her cheeks rose colored from her reaction at the intimacy, and licked her lips. She tried to keep her composure, not snog him, not lead him on to something that could be detrimental to the pair.

She leaned against him and wondered how damaging this was. This was unhealthy, and any sane person would have already left, but something forced her to stay, and it frustrated her that she couldn't give a name to it.

Merlin! Dorian had almost forgotten what kissing Tess had felt like. It was soft, and tentative, and completely her. And, Blimey, she could kiss. He knew this wasn't what she wanted. She was a sane person, so this was completely out of the question, yet she didn't pull back. He didn't know why, but he was grateful.

When she finally pulled away, he felt like he was being tossed back into the universe. He leaned his forehead agasint her, trying to catch his breath. He moved his hand to cradle her head, lacing his fingers through her soft hair. Feeling happy in this moment, he wished it didn't have to end. But he wasn't stupid. He knew how lucky he was to have gotten even that.

Pulling back just enough to look her in the eyes, he swallowed hard. "Sorry...I just...I couldn't help myself." Idiot! That was not a good reason. "I have to tell you, I'm not looking to replace my ex. I...I just, I don't know. I really like you." He knew he was butchering it. But he didn't know how to say things smoothly. He wasn't Alec.

Tess hummed softly as he pressed his forehead to hers. She opened her eyes and looked at him, he looked so vulnerable, as she did and wondered if this was healthy. She couldn't promise him a forever, hell he couldn't promise her that either and she was a girl who liked her safety. She didn't appreciate false promises and tales of forever because she'd learned they were never real.

She tried to keep some control of herself as he played with her hair, she forced herself not to act like a bloody house cat. Had anyone else kissed her without permission she would have slugged them, and hex them to the next millennium, but with him, she lost her inhibitions and that scared her a bit.

When he apologized, she looked at him intently. He was apologizing for the kiss, and she knew instantly how wrong it was. He...he was her brother's best mate, she couldn't do it to him. And it stung a bit as he apologized thinking that it was wrong, the wrongness bothered her because it felt natural.

"I see.." she said softly.

This was so awkward for her, he was confessing that he liked her, and she couldn't utter anything back. She wasn't going to promise him that she'd soon love him and everything would be fine and the pain of his fiancee would go away, because it just wouldn't.

"You like...me?" she asked curiously.

She didn't really understand why. Throughout the years she had seen just the crowed that he hung around with, along side her brother they had their fair share of beauties, one more gorgeous than the others, and then there was her. It didn't make sense.

Dorian pulled back from Tess, feeling her tense up at the situation. He gently took her hand in his, delighted at the feel of her soft skin, her dextous hands. He knew she was having trouble with this, with him. She'd been hurt by Alec and Victoria's relationship. And, in her mind, they would be doing the same thing if they started something.

He sighed. She didn't seem to believe that he liked her. He shrugged inwardly, guessing that he'd have to be more clear. "Yes. I like you. What, you think I snog every random girl like that?" He paused. "Don't answer that."

Shifting, he leaned his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes a bit. "I really like you. And not in a 'let's shag and never talk' kind of way. A 'you make me feels things I've never felt and it scares me' kind of way." He looked down at their hands, afraid to see her reaction. "And I know I'm messed up. And I know you'd be a fool to even try to fix me, but I'm willing to do anything to...not lose you. And not because I lost Rose. But because you're you. You're smart, and beautiful, and fearless, and...amazing."

As Dorian played with her hands, she looked down at how they worked together. It looked nice, but then again, looking fine wasn't the issue. She looked up as he sighed, looking at him curiously, wondering what he was about to say. She laughed softly at his comment, and she cheeks flushed in glee at his comment, he liked her. That surprised her more than anything, because he liked her, and that was more than she could ever hope.

She bit her bottom lip as he talked, surprised he even went into more of an explanation. She just honestly didn't understand why he would want to be with her, she wasn't much compared to others, but he meant it. He wasn't replacing his 'Rose' and that was a relief, she couldn't fit in another person's shoes, well in reality she refused. It had taken her years, to find herself, and in all honesty, sometimes she kept looking trying to find everything about her.

"I like you too" she replied softly. "and...I'll help you heal.But I can't jump into something so quickly, because there's so much at stake, and I can't do it."

She looked up at him and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, his lips were too personal and she didn't know whether she hurt him or not. She couldn't promise him commitment because of her genuine fear of getting too attached and it ending, she couldn't lose everything for a person.

Dorian loved the way Tess looked when she blushed. And when she bit her lip, he wanted nothing more than to snog her til she saw stars. He didn't understand the emotions crossing her face. It looked like...reluctance. As if she couldn't believe him, in a way.

He felt like someone had reached into his chest to squeeze his heart when she said she liked him. It was something new to him. His one night stands had never been about finding someone that liked him. Just scratching and itch. But the fact that she said it, after everything she'd seen, meant more than he could even comprehend.

Nodding, he tried to sober up, which was hard because he wanted nothing more than to grin like a fool. She was right, or course she was. They couldn't rush into anything. Not if he was to actually become whole, and if they were actually going to persue something. And he really want there to be something more between them.

When she kissed his cheek, he let his eyes close. He pulled her closer, just wanting to be near her, nothing more. He ran his hand up to her neck, rubbing his thumb along her jaw. He hoped she didn't mind, he'd always been a physical person.

"I know. Believe me, I know." His brow furrowed. "And I'm not asking for anything. Not now, and not ever if you don't want to. But I just...wanted to be clear. Because I don't want to hide what I feel anymore. Especially with you." He was embracing honesty. Even if it would kick his ass later.