What Could Have Been

If Anne realized she loved Damien in sixth year.

The sixteen year old Anne sat on her bed in Gryffindor tower. She had a line on her forehead as she read the book on the bed in front of her. She shook her head at the heroin. She really wasn't that intelligent, she concluded as she finished the chapter. She marked the page and put the book at the foot of her bed. She rolled her eyes as she pulled open the hangings around her bed and climbed out of bed. It was still early. She stretched and moved to the bathroom. She was the first up, again. She walked in the bathroom holding her bundle of clothes and other needed things for her morning retinue. She stepped into the shower and sung as the hot water washed over her.

After she was clean she stepped out and got dressed. She walked out into the dorm to see the girls just getting up. She sighed as Eva was her happy ball of sunshine. Anne didn't know how she did it. She was always happy. She looked at Sam and met her eye. They both looked away knowing that if they kept eye contact they would burst out laughing. Tessa was just getting up. She sighed thinking of Damien. Should she tell him. She shook her head walking out of the dorm room and walking down the stairs to the common room. She was being stupid to think he could care about her. It was a stupid vision that would never come true. She would never be with him. She ignored the feeling in her stomach that told her that she wanted it. She wanted this to come true.

She walked though the portrait hole and walked to the great hall not knowing what to do. She had yet to make up her mind when she saw Parker. He had been a git all year. She sighed and went up to him refusing to let him ignore her. She looked at him her eyes near glaring. She was not letting him be like this any more. He had been ignoring everyone. It wasn't right. Being alone was hard. She raised an eyebrow. "Talk to me." She said firmly not letting him go. "What has gotten into you?" She asked wondering why he was acting like such a prat. "Look Anne I don't want to talk about it." He said she let him pass planing to talk to him later. She sighed and walked into the hall. She was one of the first given that she always woke up so early not being able to sleep.

She picked at her breakfast as she waited for Damien wanting to talk to him. She had finally made up her mind to tell him about the dream. He came in with Tessa. She felt a slight pang in her heart. He was Tessa's. She had no chance of telling him. She sighed and realized that she was in love with her best friend. Her best friend who was in love with her room mate. She saw him kiss her on the cheek. She didn't know why it hurt her so much. She walked out of the hall. She nearly ran to the fifth floor. This was where she ended up sitting partly hidden by the suit of armour. She felt the tears slip down her face. Why did she care? She had known for a long time that Tessa mattered more than her. It had always been that way.

She sighed making up her mind. She wouldn't be alone. Not when she didn't have to be. She hid her scars well. People who didn't know her didn't know she had them. She sighed and walked to the nearest bathroom to clean up. She was just in time for her first class. She was for once trying to look good. She had never tried before, only hiding her scars. She was pleased with the reactions of the single male population. She sat near the back, with a smile on her face. She didn't sit by any of her friends. She say by herself almost a challenge for someone to sit with her. She smiled as Logan did. She didn't know him to well but he seemed nice enough.

The next few days Anne was seen flirting like mad with Logan. She was soon seen laughing with him and holding his hand. It was soon spread through the school that they were going out. But unknown to everyone Anne was still crying herself to sleep. Though Logan was cute and nice he wasn't Damien. She couldn't talk to him like she could to him. She missed having her best friend around. It hurt Anne more than she would ever tell to see him looking away when she came in a room. before he used to smile at her now nothing.

After three weeks she finally managed to corner Damien. But for once, she didn't want to talk. She gave up on making him jealous and just kissed him. By the end of sixth year when she was sitting with her boyfriend on the train she wished she would have done that to start with.

[[I Plan to make a lot of these posts when I'm bored so ya I just named the thread like that ]]

Pain beyond anything before.

If DJ died when he was 4 by poison

Two Days. Two painful days. That's how long Anne sat there waiting for DJ, her son, her little Damien James, her baby, to die. She couldn't move. When he was awake she was smiling at him and comforting him. When he was sleeping she was just keeping herself together. She didn't move from his side. Sure people told her to go home and take a shower sleep, eat. she couldn't. She couldn't move from his side, she was scared that he would die when she was gone. Damien tried to make her do something anything other than just sit there. He brought her food and made her eat it. She did though she didn't taste any of it.

Then after so much waiting his heart started to fail. She wanted to call for someone anyone, but she knew it was pointless. They would come on their own. It didn't matter. they pronounced him dead on November 2nd 2017 at 8pm. Anne wished she could have died in her son's place. She should have been there for him. It was her job. She failed again. As they sent his body to a funeral home she had already picked out, she had done it when she could breath. Now it felt like she was drowning. Her reason to live was gone. She just wanted to be with him, with them all.

She went home a dead look in her eye. When she walked in her flat she bolted the door and walked slowly to the bathroom. She took off her jewellery, her shoes were long gone. She too the gloves off. As she slipped out of the now ruined dress tears start to fall. She turned on the shower. Stripping what's left of her clothing she steps in letting the hot water wash away the dirt and makeup, the blood and dust. She wished it would wash away the pain too. She stood there for a long time. She was long since clean. The water was like ice. She turned off the tap and stepped out shivering. She wrapped a towel around herself and steeped out to her room.

She didn't bother closing the door. It didn't matter. She got into a lose sweatshirt and some sweatpants. She looked at the room across the hall and walked over to it. She flicked her wand and cleaned up the mess. She looked at the teddy bear he loved so much and she grabbed it. as she walked back to her bed she held the bear close to her heart. She sat on her bed and prayed for sleep. It never came.

She sat awake all night. The next morning when sleep finally overtook her she dreamed of nothing but her dead son. He nightmares shook her. So many horrors. She woke up though she didn't move.

Anne didn't move for days. She sat on her bed , moving only to use the washroom. She just sat there staring at DJ's room